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A Vending Machine Robbery

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A Vending Machine Robbery

"I was with some friends during freshman year cramming for a test we had the next day in a lounge within our dorm complex. At some point, an older student (junior, I think) came to study in the lounge too and we ended up chatting him up and becoming friendly with him.

Around 2 am some guys wandered into the lounge and complained that the snack vending machine just outside of the lounge had eaten their money. We said sorry bros, don't have any cash, that really sucks. They leave the lounge and we hear them shaking the vending machine and snicker about the situation but don't think much about what they are doing until we hear some type of shatter and a cry of jubilation.

The older student pokes his head out the door to see what happened and gets really excited. Grabs his back pack and instructs us to do the same. 'This is a once in a lifetime event,' he told us as we headed to the vending machine, which the guys had broken the display glass too, giving us access to everything in the machine. The drunk guys grabbed what they wanted and headed back to wherever they came from and my friends and I grabbed whatever we wanted/could fit into our backpacks. Was stocked on snacks for weeks.

At some point, security found out about the situation and questioned us but we had all ditched our treasures and had returned to studying by then so they couldn't pin anything on us."

He Broke Through The Wall!
He Broke Through The Wall!

"Some guys on my floor decided to trap another guy in the bathroom. Our rooms were designed as suites where two rooms connect via bathroom and you lock the bathroom door from the bedroom.

The guy who was trapped was claustrophobic and got out the only way he could think: by barreling through the walls and into the hallway. I wasn't there when it happened and only saw the aftermath of a huge hole in the wall, but it was pretty wild"

A Total Nutcase Is Tied Down By Dorm-Mates

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A Total Nutcase Is Tied Down By Dorm-Mates

"Due to a mix up my first year of college, I was placed on a floor with basically all the kids who messed up the housing paperwork/the school forgot to register them. It was a normal dorm, but it was fucking insane most weekends. Most of the problems revolved around this one skinny kid, I don't remember his name. He was an Arkham Asylum nutcase. Most of the time, his insanity was confined to a room, however one time he escaped. At about 2 AM, my roommate and I hear screaming and yelling coming from the hall. We look out, and this kid is shirtless running up and down the hall with his friends trying to catch him/calm him down. He was punching walls and had this big bleeding gash on his forehead. He wasn't really making any sense, but his 'friends'/wardens were trying to get help restraining him. I mentioned I had some duct tape, and they were like, 'we will need a lot of it.' I went back to my room to get it, and by then the crazy dude had been forced into his room. I knock on the door to give them the tape, and it opens just enough for a guy inside to grab the tape and shut it. Through the crack, I saw what must have been a previous vain attempt to restrain him, cause all I saw was this kid on his back, flailing his arms and legs with what must have been 40 feet of duct tape all over the room. Apparently, they literally taped him to his bed in order for him to eventually pass out. I got the roll back the next day, and it was mostly gone. I am pretty sure that kid either dropped out or transferred. I didn't see him around campus after the first semester. There were other stories from that floor, but that one definitely takes the cake"

A Naked Man Gets Tazed

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A Naked Man Gets Tazed

"I was an RA and have a few crazy ones from that experience, but here is my best.

You have to be "on duty" while an RA. Basically walk around and check shit out. Answer calls if stuff is going down.

Well, I'm sitting around my first night in duty, kinda hoping something happens, when a naked kid walks past my door. Obviously, I start following him and ask what's going on. He stops on the stairs and Ace Ventura style (with his behind) tells me to screw myself. He then proceeds to try and break into a number of rooms at which point we call the cops. When they finally show up he punches out my co-RA and flees. The cops corner him in a lounge and I got to watch the dude get tased.

Drugs. Be careful."

A Girl Knows Where To Find Help and A Guy Gets Excited By It

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A Girl Knows Where To Find Help and A Guy Gets Excited By It

"Freshman year, my girlfriend's roommate (a very pretty blonde girl) had too much to drink, came back to the room, got into her bed where her boyfriend was already passed out sleeping, snuggled up to him and fell asleep.

Except, before she got into bed, she stripped completely naked because in her drunkenness her clothes felt 'too constricting.'

And also, she went to the second floor of the dorm instead of the third and actually walked into the wrong room, and the dude sleeping there was not her boyfriend but just the guy that lived there. Most people at my school didn't lock doors unless the room was unoccupied.

When she got into bed, she woke him up and he lay there for awhile trying to figure out what to do, then he figured out that she was naked, at which point he kind of freaked out not knowing what to do. So he slowly tried to get out of the bed without disturbing her, which roused her a bit, and she responded by saying, 'No Michael' -her boyfriend's name - 'forget your friends, I'll give you a reason to stay here!'

At this point, she starts trying to pull off his PJs and have sex with him. He's telling her no, no, I'm not Michael, you're in the wrong room, but she blotto and won't listen, she soon tires of trying to get his pajama bottoms off and yells fine! She goes back down on the bed having knocked all the covers onto the floor and starts slumbering, completely exposed, by now the lights on.

He says, 'I put her into the recovery position, covered her up with some blankets emptied out my recycle bin and put it near her head in case she got sick, filled up a big bottle of water and put it next to her, got a cool washcloth and put it on her forehead, then folded her clothes and doubled up the comforter and slept what little I could on the floor next to the hot naked blonde girl in my bed.'

The next morning when she got up, she asked him what happened and why was she in bed naked? He explained the whole thing and how he didn't know what to do but tried to make her comfortable. She replies that she kind of remembers what happened and that she really thought he was Michael, then she says, so I guess you already saw me naked then. She gets up, still stark naked, goes into the bathroom (these were suites with attached bathrooms shared between multiple rooms), comes out, drinks half the water he put out.

She asks where her clothes are, he points over to the dresser where they're nearly folded up, she walks over and pulls on her panties and then asks if she can stay a little longer since the room is spinning. He says yes, she jumps back into his bed under the covers and closes her eyes. He offers to get her something from the dining hall as he's going to breakfast, she says great, so he goes to eat and brings her some oatmeal and another cool washcloth for her head.

So later that day she breaks up with her boyfriend over the whole getting drunk and sleeping naked in someone else's room ... but here's the weird part. From then on for the rest of the school year, whenever she got drunk (every couple or three weeks) she would go to this guy's room, strip naked, and he would take care of her through the next morning. They never did anything sexual, she would crash in the bed with him, never make him sleep on the floor, and their deal was he got to see her naked and spoon her and all that as long as he took care of her until she felt OK the next day.

How do I know all this? I was friends with his roommate, who told me she would occasionally show up and just be in the room naked or wearing only panties every time. And of course, she would tell my girlfriend---who you'll remember was her roommate---that she always had a great place to go for a 'little spa' whenever she got plastered. She invited my girlfriend to use his services if she ever needed them as well (she didn't).

I could never figure out if she was using him or he was using her. Either way, they were both very happy with the arrangement."

A Bottle Of Booze Becomes a Holiday Tradition
A Bottle Of Booze Becomes a Holiday Tradition

"1960s and my dad had three other roommates. One of them got a bottle of bourbon from his dad's cabinet and snuck it into the dorm. At the time, it was customary for RAs to do nightly rounds to all the rooms to make sure everyone was safe and sound inside their own room at 10pm. My dad and the other two roommates decided to pretend to be the RA and knock while the fourth guy was showing off his prize to some other hallmates. He panicked. Not thinking, he threw the glass bottle under the bed, which had metal wire holding the mattress up. The bottle shattered, filling the entire room with the smell of alcohol. Everyone panicked.

Luckily, it was right before Christmas break. My dad had the idea of getting a few Christmas trees to cover up the smell. A few minutes after they had shuffled the trees in, the RA shows up. He sees the trees and thinks that the four boys have come up with the best plan ever: competitive Christmas tree decoration contests. Of course, they all went along with it and it became a campus-wide event and was continued for at least a few years, all because my dad wanted to prank his roommate."

An American Psycho Moment
An American Psycho Moment

"Bringing a girl back to my room when I discovered

A. It was '80s night

B. The bros thought of turning the entire hall into a slip n' slide was a great idea

We carefully walked to my room, falling on our asses a couple times. Yadda yadda yadda, she wakes me up later and says she thinks someone is being murdered in the hall. Sure enough, I hear screams and... I can only describe them as gore sounds. I open my door a crack and see that the bros across the hall left American Psycho playing at full volume with the door open. I walk in and turn it off, one of them comes back. So this guy wearing a neon popped collar, high-tops, and an off-kilter mullet wig takes a drunken swing at me. I dodge and shove him onto the couch, where he passes out. Slip back to my room and lock the door. Next morning, the hall is cleaned and the guy who attacked me is dressed like normal and greets me cheerily. I wondered if it had all been some surreal dream."

A Gruesome Discovery

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A Gruesome Discovery

"The first week of classes there was a terrible smell on the first floor of our dorm. Turns out, it was a guy who had climbed into an unused refrigerator (the kind that latch from the outside), couldn't get out, and suffocated.

The body had rotted for weeks before the smell was bad enough to notice on account of the sealed refrigerator.

The maintenance woman who discovered the body ended up taking a few weeks paid leave to recover. Said the body had partially liquefied due to the heat."

A Kid Needs To Go To Church After His Shenanigans.

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A Kid Needs To Go To Church After His Shenanigans.

"I had a friend who lived on a sub-free hall in the same dorm building as me. Although he lived on this sub-free hall, he started drinking about 2 weeks into the school year. When he'd come home drunk, he'd be scared to run into his RA, so he'd sleep on the floor of my room (it got to the point where I had a bottle of water, a bucket of pretzels, and an air mattress, pillow, and blanket waiting there because this happened so frequently).

One night, he came back a little more drunk than usual. I find him in my room when I come back from hanging out with people. He's laying on the floor on his back, snacking on pretzels and being just generally silly. Then I see his hand fall into his pants. It's there longer than it should be and I just asked, 'What are you doing?!?' He just continued, so I left the room for a couple minutes, just to clear my head because I could not believe what was happening. I come back a few minutes later, and just shout 'What are you doing!?!' That's when he gives me the creepiest, happiest, just finished smile I've ever seen. Then he fell asleep.

When he woke up the next morning, I asked him if he remembered the previous night. He had no recollection whatsoever. I told him what I had seen. He buried his face in his pillow, a few seconds later responded "I need to go to church" and left."

Water, Water Everywhere
Water, Water Everywhere

"Some girls on my floor (3rd) left their window open on a freezing winter day with their built in heater blasting. The heater over heated and exploded causing that half of the floor to flood with boiling hot water along with all of the rooms under it. There was steam all in the halls and the fire alarm went off, water was absolutely everywhere."

Ain't No Party Like A Dorm Room Party

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Ain't No Party Like A Dorm Room Party

"The people on our dorm floor got to be pretty close over the year. Our RA (resident advisor) was chill and always cut us slack and gave us multiple warnings instead of writing us up for drinking, music, whatever. He also made one very important promise: on the last night in the dorms he would break all of the rules and play beer pong with us. Sounds innocent enough.

A majority of the floor stayed through finals week until the very last night you were allowed to remain in the dorms in anticipation of the night. We hoarded our alcohol and made attempts to acquire a keg. What unfolded next was absolute anarchy. The stuff you picture when you're an 18-year-old heading to college and just saw Animal House for the first time.

Everyone went nuts. Out RA opened his room to a beer pong tourney and things quickly spiraled out of control. One dorm room became a rave-like dance party. We found some tents and tried to drunkenly set them up. When it failed the poles were used for a drunken jousting tournament. Posters on the walls were converted into clothing. Bottles of wine were sent down the elevator so the 'resident director could join the party.' The RA on duty came by on patrol and was quickly bribed with copious amounts of beer. He stayed. My best friends (girls) made out after our RA kissed another male RA to encourage shenanigans. Our RA decided clothes were just too hard and stripped down to his boxer briefs. He was also given a fake mustache and sunglasses to disguise himself and his mistakes.

An abandoned dorm room became the hook-up room. People left from other floors sniffed out the party and joined. Hundreds of cans of beer, tens of bottles of liquor, and a few bags of wine all gone. The recycling room was full of people moving out and it became the equivalent of a ball pit to toddlers for my drunken friends. Eventually, all passed out strewn throughout the floor in time for sunrise.

In the morning a very hungover RA had to check all of our rooms and sign us out. The struggle bus was full. My roommate and I were neighbors with an international student from Asia. The night was perfectly summed up when his mom (who for whatever reason spent the night in his dorm) came out in the morning and screamed in horror when she saw the hallway and passed out bodies, broken bottles and torn down signs.

That was the last night of my freshman year of college and still one of the best nights of my life. Whenever someone tries to tell me that dorms aren't fun and you can't meet people I smile to myself and remember the night we broke all the rules and turned an innocent game of beer pong with our resident advisor into complete anarchy."

The Ballad Of Smelly Eddie

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The Ballad Of Smelly Eddie

"I moved into my dorm freshman year, only to be greeted by this 350lb, ogre looking dude. Let's call him, Eddie. Eddie was a smelly guy, who, on the first night, pulled out a huge purple adult toy from his Darth Vader messenger bag, and proceeded to tell me stories about his acts of beastiality. I was shell-shocked.

Eddie wouldn't shower for weeks at a time, and he would start to stink horribly. He would sit at his computer playing World of Warcraft, sucking down mini-keg after mini-keg of Virgil's root beer, inhaling 10 french bread mini-pizzas per night. Dude must have been taking in 6000+ calories a day, with no physical activity, and no showering.

Eddie also slept on the top bunk, so I had sleep under this beast on a nightly basis, waiting for the bunk bed to collapse and kill me.

Good old Eddie boy also had a major snoring problem; most likely stemming from a bad case of sleep apnea. My suite-mates could hear him through 2 walls. He would keep me up all night with his snoring, and I got tired of it. He refused to wear the sleep appliance his doctor had made for him, and it was causing me to not sleep, which was affecting my scholarly abilities.

One evening, I came back from a pledge event, and the room smelled like spoiled milk and death. Eddie must not have showered for 4 weeks at this point. The floor was covered with french bread pizza wrappers, and ants had swarmed to the puddle of root beer under his desk. I said forget it and tried to pass out.

But nope. Eddie was snoring like a Snorlax Shrek ogre... louder than he had ever snored before. I got tired of it right then and there.

I grabbed a huge bottle of Lysol, reached from the bottom bunk, and started dousing his face with the stuff. I must have emptied 1/4 of the bottle before he snapped out of the snoring and kind of came to. I pretended to be asleep, and I could see him looking down at me to see if I had just sprayed him with something.

The next night, I did the same thing. And every time he would snore, I did the same thing. I went through 6 bottles of Lysol.

5 or 6 weeks later, Eddie starts asking my buddies if I sleep walk. He mentions that he thinks I am getting up in my sleep and spraying him in the face with some kind of aerosol spray. He says he wakes up, and I am sound asleep.

My buddies told me about it, and I knew I had to be more careful. So, first, I talked to him about his snoring and how he needs to be more considerate and wear his sleep appliance. He refuses.

Time to initiate plan B.

My dorm room door was brand new (some idiot broke the entire door frame early on in the semester), and the hinges didn't make a squeak when it was opened.

I didn't want Eddie to know I had anything to do with this, and I knew if I was asleep and had someone else do my dirty work, it'd be perfect. I had my buddy, every night for 2 weeks, sneak into my dorm, and spray 'liquid poop' onto Eddie's upper lip. Just enough so that I couldn't smell it, but enough that it would eventually wake Eddie up and keep him from being able to fall asleep (no sleep = no snoring).

Did I mention that I had my buddy doing this while wearing a balaclava?

This went on for two weeks, and Eddie was clearly getting weirded out. He never woke up as my buddy was doing this to him, but he would wake up shortly after. He asked me "Do you smell poop? Did you poop somewhere in here?" I would obviously say no and do my best not to smirk.

Eddie was clearly weirded out at this point. He smelled poop everywhere he went (that stuff is hard as hell to wash off, and it was just a tiny enough amount for no one else to smell it except for him). It was great because right before bed, he would say how the smell is going away, and then at night he would get sprayed again, and he'd wake up in the middle of the night because the smell came back.

Well, one night, Eddie woke up while my buddy snuck into the room. Eddie didn't say anything at first, figuring he had caught me messing with him. But then Eddie looked through the crack in the bunk bed (I was awake and saw the white of his eyes look down), saw me 'sleeping' and freaked out. He screamed, and when he did, my buddy sprayed his face with a ton of the spray and took off, running straight out of the dorm building.

Eddie was mortified and terrified. He 'woke' me up, shaking me and saying 'someone was in here, they've been getting me for weeks. I thought it was you. I thought it was you.'

I sat up and started talking to Eddie. He explained how he had been getting sprayed every night with something a few weeks ago, and now all he has been smelling is feces. He thought it was me, but that tonight he caught the 'intruder' coming in and spraying him in the face with.. and this is the best part.... Eddie thinks he was being sprayed with...

ACTUAL HUMAN FECES.

I calmed him down and said it must have been a dream man... who would do that. He swore he caught the guy and that this was real. I asked who/why would do this... he had no idea. Eddie was on edge for the next 3 weeks, but nothing else happened and he calmed down.

Best few months of rest I got that year.

The last week of the semester, I took the balaclava and filled a bottle with dirty water and that spray. I left both things in his underwear drawer, with a note that said 'I still watch you sleep Edward, and I always will. No matter where you go, I'll be there.'

Eddie left school the second his finals ended, and I have never seen or heard from him since.

This was 9 years ago."

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