Share

"We were looking for something with a little more space."

Oh, really? A great room the size of a small house isn't a big enough living room for you? Poor you. 

"We want a place that's move-in ready."

Nothing like a young couple with a minimal budget and completely ridiculous expectations, eh? 

"We really, really hate carpet."

What is this? Why does everyone hate carpet all of the sudden? It's soft and warm and very comfortable to walk on! Okay, so it's not for every room or even every house, but come on. Stop the carpet-hate, people. 

"We just want to be one with nature."

And that's why you're moving into a giant-ultra modern house that also happens to be in the woods? Sure. 

"We just love the hardwood flooring!"

Oh, but... that's laminate. This is awkward. 

"We really can't stand the color of the walls in this room."

It's paint! One of the best things about paint is that it can cover up other paint! 

"Yo, this will be a perfect spot for my man cave!"

Ugh, please stop. We understand that nobody really wants to grow up all the way, and everybody needs their space, but please don't call it a "man cave." 

"We love entertaining."

Do you? Do you host dinner parties regularly? Has your dining set been used more than twice this year? Liars. 

"We want a nice place that's centrally located."

Sure, but you can only afford one or the other of those things on your budget. Let's be realistic here. 

"We like it, but it doesn't really have the kind of modern features we're looking for."

Yeah, because you asked for an older home! What were you expecting?

"We like the kitchen, but the countertops aren't granite."

"And we know that we want granite countertops because of our extensive study of other countertop materials, such as... marble, and uh, wood. Plastic? Are there plastic countertops? Look, we just know, okay?"

"We want ALL stainless appliances."

Yeah, and you'll use them all the time, right? 

Realtor:
Realtor: "This one's great too, and only (insert ridiculous number of dollars here) over your budget!"

Honestly, what is the point in this exercise? Stop making us hate this show.

Anti-Slavery Group Seeks Free Labor new by Hugh Solari Anti-Slavery Group Seeks Free Labor Read More
Why Noisy Eating Causes Actual Anger For Some People new by Hugh Scott Why Noisy Eating Causes Actual Anger For Some People Read More
When The Sale Price Is Higher Than The Regular Price new by Hugh Solari When The Sale Price Is Higher Than The Regular Price Read More

Latest Articles

The Great American Hamburger Hot Dog The Great American Hamburger Hot Dog
We Finally Answer The Age Old Question About Dogs And Brains We Finally Answer The Age Old Question About Dogs And Brains

Brainjet is devoted to providing you with all of the craziest, most eye-opening, and overall most interesting information out there.

A Collage Of Letters Spell The Wrong Word Random Jet