Doctors see some pretty crazy things day in and day out. But these doctors weren't prepared for the amount of stupidity they saw in these patients.
EMT here, I had a grown adult try to explain to ME that someone else shit his pants. Got toned out for finger pain at a homeless shelter at 0200, we get there and the guy jumps in the truck with very mild swelling to the tip of his right index finger. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: so what happened?
Patient: I smoked some meth and then I fell asleep in my bunk and I woke up next to my bunk and my finger hurt and there was poop!
Me: there was poop..? Did you fall in poop..?
Patient: no no, like in my pants!
Me: so... you pooped your pants?
Patient: no! It wasn't me!
Me: so let me get this straight... you smoked meth, took a nap, rolled out of bed in your sleep, hurt your finger, and someone ELSE came along and shit in your pants before you woke up...?
Patient: yeah! It wasn't me! Source