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Saluting Squirrels
Saluting Squirrels

"There are soo many stories to choose from. One of the funniest is who we had to salute - every living being. Literally. So I'm walking back from a med appointment I had when a squirrel crosses my path. So I render a snappy salute and bark out a 'Good morning, sir!' just as an officer is walking across the street from me. He ran across the street to investigate just who the hell I was saluting. I responded, The squirrel, sir! He said, What the f--k?? You saluted a squirrel??? Yes, sir! Who's your company commander? Petty Officer Shanks, sir! Ok, move on dumba--. And stop saluting squirrels. Yes, sir!" (Source).

His Name Was Taken
His Name Was Taken

"We had a kid in my bootcamp platoon named Jackson. The Senior Drill Instructor was Sgt. Jackson. Poor recruit Jackson was known as 'Recruit laundry number 38' for the whole time because he didn't like the name Jackson" (Source).

High on Meds
High on Meds

"The first couple weeks of boot are full of medical and dental exams, and if you need a procedure, you get it done right there. Tons of guys had their wisdom teeth pulled, and we had one guy come back right before lights out with his mouth full of gauze and loopy from the drugs. Our DI called us all to the center of the room, formed us up, and then told us to sit Indian style on the floor, and that Recruit Toothy was going to tell us a bedtime story. He pulled up a chair for Toothy, and then told him to tell us the story of the battle of the Monitor and Merrimac. Toothy mumbled that he didn't know the story, so the DI told him to just make it up, and for every fact that he got right, we'd get to sleep an extra 5 minutes in the morning. What followed was like a live episode of Drunk History, minus any factual accuracy. As best as Toothy could recall, the Monitor was British, the Merrimack was 'Old Ironsides', and that in the end, 'they shot the sh-t out of each other and everybody died. The end'. We were all dying laughing, but the DI sat there stone faced. After Toothy was done, DI just stood up and said 'That is exactly how it happened. Well done', got up, turned off the lights, and walked out" (Source).

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