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DEFINITELY Not Worth $50.

Shutterstock/Rommel Canlas

DEFINITELY Not Worth $50.

"Years ago, in the Navy, we were at sea and bored, so we had a gross-out contest. There was this one guy who was dared to eat the waste from another guy's electric razor, which he hadn't cleaned for some time. He agreed to do it for $50. The deal was he had to swallow it all or he wouldn't get paid. The razor was opened and emptied on a table. We watched as he ate the whole pile of disgusting hair, dead skin and dirt. We were howling with laughter and retching simultaneously. He finished all of it, swallowed it and was paid the $50. He immediately ran to the heads (toilet) and threw up" (Source).

Can't Say No To Pizza.

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Can't Say No To Pizza.

"Once, I was in Paris with my wife, my sister in law and her husband - let's call him V. On the platform of the subway, a drunk and stumbling bum nibbled a remnant of pizza. Suddenly the pizza fell from his hands and ended up on the ground, of course on the side of the sauce, but he calmly picked it up and went on eating. When the train came the bum followed and sat next to us, in front of V, while continuing to eat pizza. At one point we saw the bum offer his pizza to V, and despite the screams of his wife, he accepted and ate it. Following the bitter reproaches of his wife he replied that he could not refuse the pizza because the bum's feelings could have been hurt" (Source).

The Unemployed Clown.

Shutterstock/Master1305

The Unemployed Clown.

"Years ago when I was at Uni, I went flatting with a mate. We found a nice 4 bdrm place so advertised for 2 flatmates. The first was few years older than us, a decent enough bloke. The second one though was...unique. He was an unemployed clown. You read right: an unemployed clown (until then I wasn't aware one could choose what vocation to be unemployed in. I became an unemployed star ship captain for a while).

We soon found out the reason why he was unemployed: He was unemployable. Unemployable because he had only a very passing acquaintance to personal hygiene. He only showered once a fortnight (2 weeks). That wasn't the worst. He would wear the same clothes for the entire fortnight. That wasn't the worst. He would wear the same underwear for the entire fortnight. We found this out when he finally washed his clothes after 6 weeks: there were only 3 pairs of underwear on the line (we hoped he was wearing a 4th). THAT wasn't the worst. He used to do the most odorous of stools. He would spend an hour or more ensconced on the throne, stinking the entire house out. When he had finished emptying his bowels he would exit with the toilet unflushed. Even that wasn't the worst!

The worst was he would not only not flush, he wouldn't wipe or wash his hands. There would just be a big log sitting there for whichever of us other three would use the toilet after him. No toilet paper, just stool. He was an unemployed clown who would wear the same clothes for a fortnight, including the same pair of underpants and never cleaned his balloon knot nor washed his hands. Let that sink in for a moment and imagine just how badly he stunk from about day 3 onwards. And how disgusting the shower was after he finally showered (which, of course, he never thought to clean).

He gave us all worms: an unexpected treat. We all took worming pills but he refused: he actually thought we had caught worms from showering so often and as a result started showering even less often than previously. He was now down to a shower every 3 weeks. We ended up breaking up the worming tablet into his food, as you would any dumb animal.

His lack of personal hygiene resulted in him getting a yeast infection. Until then I had no idea a man could get a yeast infection. The more you know! He would sit right next to the heater which resulted in the lounge carrying the pleasant odour of cooked rotten fungus and hot poop. He finally went to a doctor about his yeast infection and was told he needed to shower more often. So he started showering every 10 days...yeah, like that worked.

Whenever we tried to broach the subject about his questionable hygiene regimen, he would get upset, accuse us of bullying him and hide in his room for several days. We finally couldn't stand it any longer and told him the house had been sold and we all had a week to vacate. He left and we didn't. It took almost a month of cleaning, airing and lighting scented candles & incense in his lair to clear the stench" (Source).

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