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A Little Cutie.
A Little Cutie.

"My father had a job transfer when I was in 10th grade and I had to change schools in the middle of the year (it was November).

I looked cute and childish for a 10th grade boy and people would always mistake me for being in a lower grade.

So, on first day of new school, I am very early in the class and sitting in the first row. In comes a beautiful girl. She puts her bag down and comes over to me. She squeezes my cheeks and asks me "OOo boy, which class do u study in?? Whose brother are you?'

My cheeks turn red and I replyto her with a straight face, 'I'm in 10th grade.' Her expression turns into shock and she tries to cover up the incident. Meanwhile other students have also come to the class and now they are making fun of her and me together.

This has to be the most embarrassing moment in my life to date."

When Cheating Backfires, Big Time.
When Cheating Backfires, Big Time.

"In 8th grade, we were supposed to submit a HTML project for a computers class. Me, being the perfect procrastinator that I am, forgot about it until my friends reminded me about it at recess. I quickly went to my guy friend in another section and asked him to lend me his project since their section was done with the project and we had different teachers.

So I borrowed his flash drive and had a smug look on my face.

My turn came at the computers lab and I gave the flash drive to the teacher. He opened the folder aaaaanndddd..... PORN. ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF IT.

The whole class including the teacher was like, 'Dafuq just happened there!!!???'

I gulped and said that I forgot my homework and hence borrowed it from someone in section E.

My friend later very calmly told me that he mixed up the two flash drives. He was supposed to give this one to one of his bros."

Gotta Go!
Gotta Go!

"Once in middle school I really needed to go to the toilet, but my teacher wouldn't let me.

After multiple failed attempts to convince her to let me go, she threatened to send me to the principal if I left class either way.

The class was a little noisy and most people weren't paying attention.

That's when friend of mine handed me an empty water bottle and I knew what he had in mind. I silently accepted the bottle because I was so desperate, laid a jacket over my lap and started doing my business.

Half-way through, the teacher snaps at the noisy class and everyone goes quiet.

Pisssssssssss

The sound of someone filling up a water bottle was obvious and I was like a deer stuck in the headlights with no choice but to finish my business while everyone stared.

When I was done my heart was pounding and I noticed everyone was staring at me by then. You could see the bottom of the bottle filling up as it stuck out from the jacket. That's when one guy pointed out to the teacher, 'MISS! HE'S PISSING IN A WATER BOTTLE!' (No one likes a telltale man, come on...)

Needless to say, I still ended up at the principal's office (which was regular for me, then) but this time, with my parents and a one week suspension.

I'll never forget the sheer embarrassment or the shame I had as I finished pissing in a bottle with 30 people staring at me silently."

Sprucing Up The Presentation.
Sprucing Up The Presentation.

"I put a picture of a half-naked man at the end of my class presentation.

I was holding a presentation about Small & Medium-sized Enterprises (SMEs) to a business class during my Masters exchange semester in Taiwan.

My fantastic idea was to end the presentation with a 'Thank you for listening' slide containing a GIF with the Old Spice guy saying 'Thank you.' This way I could end the otherwise dry content with a funny ending.

However, I made 3 mistakes:

1) The GIF didn't automatically play in a loop as intended, so when I got to the last slide, it was just a still image of a half-naked muscular black man in a towel.

2) I was in Taiwan. Presenting to international and Taiwanese students, but most importantly, I was presenting to a couple of Taiwanese professors. Obviously they had never seen, or heard of, the Old Spice commercials.

3) Why would putting this guy in my presentation be a good idea at all?

Damn you, Old Spice guy!

So there I was, standing in front of the screen with a picture of a half-naked man behind me. The international students got the reference (and laughed), but the rest didn't.

First question the professor asked was, 'Why did you put a naked man in your presentation?'"

Run For Your Life.
Run For Your Life.

"One of the most valuable things that I learned in college is that exercise can be hazardous to your pride.

The summer after my first freshman year of college I stayed on campus to take summer courses. I smuggled in more than a few ounces of malt liquor and lite beer in my thighs and stomach that I had socked away for safekeeping during the school year. I saw the summer session as a perfect opportunity to take advantage of the near-empty gym and get in amazing shape.

I put on my best crinkly nylon warm-up pants (in the category of, 'What people wore before yoga pants') and my Everclear tour tee, and set off for my school's ancient and poorly equipped gym. I decided that it would be best to start with some cardio. You know, to get the heart rate up. Sweat out those toxins (whatever that means). I found a treadmill and hopped aboard. This is when I found myself living my naked dream. Not the good kind.

I started running on the treadmill, which must have been one of the first treadmills ever made. I found my groove, I was singing along to my discman in my head. Then, almost in slow motion, my right ankle gave out and sort of twisted inward and under toward the tread. Before I could do anything to stop the impending trainwreck, I was falling backwards and the tread was eating my pants. No, I was not wearing shorts. I was wearing granny panties b/c when you're in college you never do laundry.

So there I was, lying on the treadmill with my pants half down and my big granny panties exposed. I was so embarrassed, as I looked around at the horror and shock in stranger's faces, that I didn't notice the excruciating pain of the tread-burn on my back for a good ten minutes.

I laid on the treadmill in my big underwear while on-lookers gawked for what seemed like forever, until I finally decided that I must do something. Ignoring the pain of the tread-burn, I quickly gathered my things and ran out. FAST. I'm pretty sure that is the fastest that I have ever ran in my life."

The Talent Show.
The Talent Show.

"Our school used to host talent competitions where all the talented kids got to showcase their talent. Some would sing, some would dance while some would play an instrument.

When I was a kid, my father had bought me a harmonica. I was not skilled in playing it so while at home, I used to play random tones on it, and surprisingly, no matter how bad it was, it always sounded as good music to my ears.

So I told my teacher that I would like to play the harmonica in the contest. Come competition day:

Some sang pretty well, some played the guitar, some played the piano while others looked on in awe. Finally, it was my turn. I stood on the stage. It was totally dark in front of me as all the lights in the auditorium were directed at me. Participants got three minutes of stage time. So, I started. God knows what I played that day. Whatever that came to my mind. Music. Noise. Anything and everything.

The bell rang. I waited for the applause. But all that I was greeted with was peals of laughter. Even the teachers in the front row couldn't help but smile. I was red, totally. I knew I had just been the greatest loser the school had ever seen.

I stepped down from the podium, thanked everyone and ran back to my seat. My friends started jeering me but thankfully, the next performance was underway and I was saved.

Till today, my dear friends still remind me of that incident and we share a good laugh. Sometimes I even feel it was not that bad. At least, I could make an entire audience laugh and have a good time."

Shame, Shame, Shame.
Shame, Shame, Shame.

"I've been embarrassed so many times that today I'm almost shameless.

1) I was part of this little dance show and this was during our final rehearsal. So, in between numbers, I went to pee and in the hurry I forgot to zip up. When I entered the room after my business, the teacher took my hand and make me stand on my mark. As soon as I made my first move, my jeans fell down on the floor. As you see, I didn't buttoned my jean well either. This was the age where underwear wasn't necessary. In those 2 seconds, I made 50 people laugh. My best joke, so far.

2) I finished my exam and was waiting for the bell to ring so that I can submit my paper and go home. Well the person sitting next to me was not bright and was cheating too. The teacher saw it from a distance and walked towards us. After reaching close enough he roared, 'ARE YOU CHEATING?' I don't know who I should blame but tt was his roar that made me poop my pants. And again, no underpants. My eyes were filled with water. The teacher saw or smelled I don't know but he told me to go the bathroom. That walk was my Walk of Shame. Shame! Shame! Shame!"

Double Whammy.
Double Whammy.

"Freshman year of college at the University of Oregon came at the end of a hot summer. The lecture right after lunch was always a challenge for me to stay awake for because the warm weather combined with that after lunch drowsiness always put me to sleep. It was challenging in a big room full of 500 people and a lecturer droning on in a monotone voice for an hour.

One day my eyelids were especially heavy. I was nodding off trying to keep my head upright and listen to Professor Monotone who was presenting an especially boring lecture about something I can't even remember. In that giant auditorium full of 500 people there was no sound except for the lecture and the clicking sound of the overhead projector every time he advanced the slide.

I was drifting off peacefully into a quiet slumber when suddenly two things happened at the exact same same moment: First, I had that falling feeling you get when you're falling asleep that caused my body to convulse.

That violent jerking sensation, and at the same time the extreme relaxation my body was feeling caused me to rip the loudest fart I think I've ever experienced in my life.

Normally that wouldn't be a big deal. But in a big room full of 500 people where loud sounds echo, it filled the auditorium with a sonic boom. The plastic chair I was sitting in somehow amplified the sound making it even louder so the people on the other side of campus could feel it. Not hear it, feel it.

All 500 heads in that auditorium plus Professor Monotone all turned and looked right at me. I swear it must have registered a 4.6 on the Richter scale. The sound of ripping jean material and the smell of smoldering cotton filled the air.

I tried to play it off and stare at the guy in front of me suggesting it was he, not I who did the deed. But I was the only one in the room who jerked so badly it sent my books and pencil flying.

The professor cracked a sly smile and went back to his lecture. I slinked out of the room and ran for my life. From that day on I never fell asleep in that class again."

The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

"I was a freshman in high school (9th grade, 14.5 years old at the time,) and Valentine's day was approaching. I had my eye set on a girl, let's call her Allison.

Allison was smart, focused, purposeful, beautiful. She still is, but at the time that was all I ever wanted.

I wanted to tell her how I felt, but as every man knows, we are expected to take the initiative and to also be super masculine at all times. I decided that I could forego both of those and write her a love poem, by 'anonymous,' to express my feelings, and then quietly ask her out later. She'd obviously put two and two together, but no one else could ever be sure, obviously.

For Valentine's day, I put the poem in her locker, told only my best friend, and waited. Within, no kidding, 15 minutes, Allison's best friend came up to me and said 'She really liked your poem!' I tried to play dumb, 'What poem?' She rolled her eyes and said 'Boys. Anyway, She'll be in the Commons during lunch.'

I had no idea what the ** that meant, or what was going on anymore, but obviously I was supposed to meet her in the commons, so I did.

She told me, pretty much flat out in public with all of her friends around and none of mine nearby, she thought it was 'cute' but wasn't interested. They all had a nice titter at my expense while I... I mean, I wasn't even embarrassed at that point. I was so far beyond embarrassed that words fail. I think I blacked out.

Anyway, to this day me and Allison are good friends, and every so often she reminds me about that hilarious poem from high school. Every time, I'm teleported back to high school, blushing in the commons.

Poetry. The gift that keeps on giving."

A Low Blow.
A Low Blow.

"This happened to me when I was in 11th grade. I joined a tutoring class for physics because it was too difficult for me to understand. Our teacher used to give weekly tests. I failed miserably on each and every one. Sometimes, I used to get only 4 or 5 questions right out of 30. I was definitely the worst in the class.

One day our teacher was distributing last week's test. A girl started crying looking at her test as she got very low marks. There were almost 60 students sitting in our class at that time. Our teacher went to her and asked her the reason for her crying. She said, 'She is depressed, as she thinks she is the dumbest of the whole class.' My teacher handed her my test sheet and said her in front of the whole class, 'Look at [my name]'s test, there are more dumb people than you.'

The embarrassment was intolerable. My blood dried up. The whole class was looking at me. I was not find a direction to look where I can avoid eyes looking at me."

Getting Called Out.
Getting Called Out.

"I had gone to the same school from kindergarten to 12th grade. And the school had developed along with me. At the beginning there was only one building and they provided education till 6th . When I left it was a huge campus which provided not just schooling till 12th, but also an engineering college and B.Ed degree. My point is, some of the teachers who were at the beginning teaching us in 1st and 2nd grade, were the same ones teaching us in 9th and 10th.

It was the first day of 9th grade and our Social Science teacher came and I was happy (a brief moment) to see that it was the same teacher who had taught me in 3, 4 and 5. I was happy to see her but soon it turned into horror.

She saw me in the class and immediately said, 'Oh my my. Look at you, so grown up. I hope that now I can expect some sensible answers on your tests.'

One of my friends asked, 'What do you mean?'

She: 'On his 5th grade final exam I had asked, 'What is Milky Way?' And his answer was, 'The way the milk goes.'

And she laughed along with the class for about 5 minutes."

The 15 Minute Rule.
The 15 Minute Rule.

"We had a university rule that if the professor didn't arrive after 15 minutes from the time the bell rang, we can leave class. We entered the classroom and there's a blackboard note of the name of the professor, the class code, and the class schedule.

The professor was nowhere to be found. The professor had a funny last name so my classmates who arrived earlier made fun of the professor's name.

Upon entering the class, there's a handsome buff guy scribbling notes at the back row. I am not a shy person so I sat next to him and introduced myself. He said his name was 'Dan.' I asked about his major, his schedule, anything to get to know him and to kill time.

When I ran out of questions, I ranted that the professor was a bloke and joined with the rest making fun of the professor's name. Dan laughed with us and even initiated more jokes about the professor.

At the 14th minute everyone was looking at their watches and doing their countdown. At the last 20 seconds, 'Dan,' stood up from his chair, walked toward the blackboard, and said, 'OK, CLASS.'

We then found out that it's always been his habit of pretending to be one of the students as an ice-breaker.

What an ice-breaker."

Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot.
Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot.

"I had gone back to school to do a masters in teaching at the same time getting my professional license. I had already received my BA in chemistry and worked in the industry for a few years. I had coached sports of all levels and ages for many years and was very comfortable with kids.

I was killing it in grad school and all my classes went swimmingly. I was ready to teach! So along came my first day. At this school I taught all of science, not just chemistry. The head teacher wanted me to show the students how ovulation occurred in human reproduction. No problem I can do this!

My first step was telling the students where the eggs came from. So I drew 2 big ovaries on the board. I then drew an egg in one, but made sure I drew one in the other one as well, because the egg can come from either side.

I was talking to the students who progressively got louder and louder in their laughter. I drew in the fallopian tubes and the uterus, but couldn't stop the onslaught of laughing. Even my head teacher in the back was cracking up. I chucked it up to the immaturity of some of the students in that class. That was until I went to the head teacher at the end of the lesson and asked him why all the laughing. He had me look at the board, then erased the other writing and drawings I had made to show how the lesson had started.

So my first day of teaching, I drew 2 huge boobs for my students. After 10 years in the classroom, I am careful not to do that anymore!"

Boner!
Boner!

"I was in a Database Management Systems class. It was the first class and the professor was giving basic examples about databases. He used an example about sport teams and started asking about the data do we need to maintain about it. People were saying things like the players, if the game was home or away, the score...

Then came a confident voice, 'Boner.'

Our professor stopped short, turned towards the side from where the voice came. That voice was mine. Prof: 'What!?'

My voice was as confident as before. Me: 'Sir, boner.'

I didn't realized that my friends were giggling beside me. The professor looked a bit pissed and stunned. Prof: 'What do you mean?'

Me: 'Sir, the company who owns the team, invests in acquisitions and trades. The franchise.'

Prof: 'Oh, you meant to say the owner.'

Me: 'Yes, the boner.'

The class burst into laughter. It was then I realized that my nose that was blocked due to a cold, making 'Owner,' sound like 'Boner.' I sat down sheepishly."

Laughing Stock For The Whole Year.
Laughing Stock For The Whole Year.

"In 9th grade, I had met this gorgeous girl at a party. We became friends really quickly. After that, I was thinking about her all the time (of course I had a crush on her). Let's call her 'Trish.'

The next day, I had a test at school. Teacher distributed the question papers and I knew the answers to all. So I quickly completed the test, and since there was half an hour left of class, I decided to take a nap.

Half an hour passed and I was woken up by my friend, who was sitting next to me. My answer sheet was gone. I looked around and found out the whole class was looking at me laughing and the teacher had a smile on her face. I wondered what was going on and I asked my friend. Laughing he asked, 'Dude, who is Trish?' I was like, 'How do you know her??..'

Turns out when the teacher came to collect my paper, I decided to hold onto it and shouted, 'Trish, Trish where are you?' in my sleep! I called out her name multiple times in my sleep!! Hearing this, I looked at my teacher with embarrassment and she was still laughing. I was the laughing stock of the class for the whole year!!"

Kids Say The Darndest Things.
Kids Say The Darndest Things.

"At first I felt embarrassed, then confused, and now that I think about it, it's actually humorous. I quickly realized what was said wasn't meant to be insulting, although it did sound terribly unflattering. It actually became another unforgettable moment in classroom A2.

I had decided to cut my straight waist length hair. It was a timely decision. I chose a short layered, easy to maintain hairstyle. I went to school the next day unprepared for the reactions of my students, one in particular. As students were entering class, the following conversation took place, loud enough for everyone to hear:

John, age 11, greets me with a shocked and obviously disapproving voice, 'Oh no, you cut your hair!' I reply, 'Yes, I did.' John shakes his head vigorously and says, 'Tsk. tsk, too bad!' In my best teacher voice, I respond, 'Is there a problem with my hair?'

John looks at me, and with all the sincerity an eleven year old could muster, loudly declares, 'Before I was worried you are never going to get a husband. Now that you have cut your hair, you won't even get a date!'

Loud laughter erupted and I was speechless. It never occurred to me that my being unmarried was a serious concern to any of my students. Evidently I was wrong."

Get A Separate Drive JUST For School.
Get A Separate Drive JUST For School.

"We made a movie in our college that was to be shown in front of a lot of important people, like the head of our department and honorable guests. On the presenting day:

My Friend: 'Here is the flash drive you asked for, do it fast.'

Me: Copied files not opening the flash drive, just right clicked and saved to my flash drive.

Me to the head of the department: 'Sir here is the flash drive with the film on it.'

The flash drive was inserted into a laptop, and on a GIANT screen streaming the laptop's display appeared 5 folders that were on the drive:

1) Awesome F--k session

2) Batman Series

3) My friend's hot mom

4) Movie Presentation

5) Sex in the City' episodes."

Way To Make An Entrance.
Way To Make An Entrance.

"I rushed into a 11:00 am class at precisely 11:30. It was a class that required the use of a laptop. So I quickly booted up my laptop, at which point the theme song for 'Batman: The Dark Knight Returns' started blaring loudly from my speakers. I had completely forgotten the fact that I had been listening to music the previous night UNTIL my laptop shut down due to low battery. I slammed the laptop shut but the music just wouldn't stop. I simply couldn't figure out what to do and promptly walked out of the class. Some desperate keyboard mashing, button pressing later I returned to the classroom and pretended like all was well.

I was later told that when I exited the classroom, the teacher and class spent the next 45 seconds laughing till their sides hurt."

Never Look Them In The Eye Again.
Never Look Them In The Eye Again.

"Let me take you back to the summer of 2007 while I was in Ireland studying law abroad...

The trip was 'chaperoned' by two widely recognizable and industry-influential members of the law world, both professors at my university. The first was a former SCOTUS law clerk with expertise in constitutional law, the other a former director of federal prisons in the United States.

Our first night in Ireland, we had a group dinner at a restaurant housed in the top floor of an old pub. We dressed for the occasion, girls in dresses, guys in suits.

I didn't have anything to drink, knowing that I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my classmates or my professors.

But... I embarrassed myself anyway.

After dinner, I proceeded to slip and fall down the stairs not once, but twice, the final time leaving me flat on my back with my skirt up around my head, britches bared to all.

Oh, the shame.

I never could look into the eyes of either professor again from that point forward."

Lesson Learned.
Lesson Learned.

"This happened to me during one of my mid-semester exams in college.

I was one of those students who preferred to burn the midnight oil and study late into the night. Whenever I used to doze off while studying, my mom would pat me softly and wake me up only to get a reply of, 'Ma, 5 minutes. Wake me up after 5 minutes' and toss my head to the other side and enjoy the extended 5 minutes of bliss that I usually get.

Like always, I slept late and hardly had 2 hours of sleep and went for one of my mid-sem exams. I had finished only 70% of my paper, but my eyes had already started burning badly because of the lack of sleep from the previous night.

'Just take a break,' I said to myself. I put down my pen, took a few sips of water and started looking around for what my friends were up to. Some were busy scribbling and some were already done with their paper. After I got bored surveying the room, I put my head on the table and was too disturbed by my burning eyes that I closed them for a while and eventually dozed off.

a soft tap on my table

Me: 'Ma, 5 minutes. Wake me up after 5 minutes.' and subconsciously tossed my head to the opposite side and continued sleeping.

soft tap on my table

Classmate: 'Hey, you're suppose to be taking your exam.'

I bolted upright immediately to hear the whole class laughing at me and my professor standing next to me and laughing too.

I scribbled my answers as fast as I could and somehow managed to finish the paper.

Lesson learnt: Sleep well before the exams... at least more than two hours!"

Couldn't Be Further From The Truth.
Couldn't Be Further From The Truth.

"Near the end of the spring semester of my junior year of college I offered to cook dinner for a woman I was romantically interested in. We'd worked together on several class assignments and appeared to have a lot in common.

I threw out the invitation without giving much thought to the condition of my apartment. On returning home I was forced to admit that it was a wreck. Files, papers, books and clothes were scattered everywhere. Oh, this won't do, I thought, this won't do at all. I need to make a good impression.

I spent a day and a half cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. On the night of the date not a single thing in the house was out of place. The bathroom mirror was streak-free. There was a faint odor of bleach in every room. Looking around I couldn't believe the transformation! Not even a cobweb...

She arrived, looking spectacular. She hesitated just inside the door and I saw her eyebrows rise. Clearly impressed, I thought, and rightly so!

The dinner went well, we had a great lively conversation, then finished the night dancing at a local club. Oh, this is the beginning of something beautiful, I thought.

I never heard from her in person again. She didn't return my calls. I didn't see her in our usual campus hangouts. I went over to her apartment several times and no one was ever home. None of our friends seemed to know where she was. I saw her while we were taking the final in the class we shared but she finished before me and disappeared. I thought about her a lot during the summer.

During the first week of the fall semester I ran into one of our mutual friends. 'Hey, what happened to Lisa?' I asked. 'I thought we hit it off last semester and then I never saw or heard from her again.'

'I guess there's no easy way to tell you this,' the friend said, 'She said she liked you a lot, and that you were cute and everything... but that when she had been to your apartment, you were obviously some kind of neat freak, or something, and that she didn't think you guys had any kind of future together...'"

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