"ICU nurse here, if I start CPR on you, you have about a 5% chance to survive. And sometimes you don't want to 'survive' CPR. I've made more vegetables than I care to think of. But I've also seen that 5% come back kicking so we do it, use our knowledge, and pray today is your lucky day."
"I'm a bakery owner and if you order a custom cake, we will charge you a fair price depending on decoration, size, flavorings, etc no matter what type event it's for. We don't up charge you for weddings like a lot of people think
We will, however, up sell you. You want a white cake? That's fine, but this Genoise sponge is much tastier (and costs more per serving). You want a lace wrapped bottom? What if I hand piped lace all over it, it would be much more beautiful (and cost about $100-$500 more, depending on cake size); you get the idea. Basically, if you have a firm cake budget, make sure you let the bakery know when you start your tasting. Take their suggestions if they fit within your budget. They won't try to up sell you too much unless they're jerks, and it'll save a lot of disappointment."
"Live in an apartment building? Does your Superintendent have a Master key for the apartment doors? Then forget about thinking you are safe and secure behind your locked door. Something to know about locksmithing: If at any time, a Master key has gone missing, the ONLY way to secure the building is to rekey every lock in the place and nobody ever wants to absorb that expense. This means that the keying chart for your building has been in use since the building was constructed.
You can easily remove the deadbolt from a door, and with some very basic knowledge, disassemble the cylinder and calculate the shear lines where the apartment key and the Master key operate. By deducing the cuts on the apartment key, you can easily calculate the cuts for the Master key. Take these calculations to a locksmith, and in minutes you can have a Master key that will open every door in your building.
If you live in a high-rise, don't trust the deadbolt to keep you secure. Replace the lock with a high-security deadbolt such as a Medeco, and give the building management a copy of your key in case of emergency."
"Barely anyone in the state of Georgia gets an autopsy. If you wanted to kill someone over the age of 40, all you would really need to do is make sure that they had some kind of previous medical history and the body was found outside of a metropolitan area. The coroners here are only required to have a high school diploma.
For example, after a few domestic violence calls to my aunt's house, the sheriff finally said, 'You know, we don't got no CSI here in Podunk County. If he gets shot, there ain't gonna be an investigation.'"
"I worked in an independent senior citizens center for five years. I don't know about other facilities that are independent, but at mine, the residents were supposed to be mostly to completely independent.
After about two years, we got a new director. We went from 20 rooms filled to all 42 in a few months. Several of these tenants I would hardly call mostly to completely independent. Clearly, my boss just wanted to fill the rooms and get his bonus. We had three women move in during the same week that all had dementia. One of them went completely downhill in a period of eight months.
When she first got there, she just seemed forgetful and quick to anger. After a month, she forgot her children were adults and that her husband died. Another month, and she had no idea where she was. She thought the facility was a hotel and would always talk about how horribly she was treated. She caught her apartment on fire. She'd freak out when there were guests in the dining room. Eventually, she refused to bathe and ended up with a severe yeast infection between rolls on her stomach. We had no idea that was going on, we just knew she wasn't bathing and smelled very foul. She ended her eight month stay stealing other tenant's outdoor decorations and becoming incontinent. The others caused all kinds of problems, wouldn't stop harassing staff to the point where it was getting really hard to perform our tasks, other tenants threatened to move out and refused to go to meals so they could avoid them.
My point of this is: Just because a facility says they'll accept your dementia ridden parents doesn't mean you should place them there. Sure, it's cheaper for you, but they don't get the care they need. There are no nurses in our independent facility. In the five years I worked there, we only had two half-hour meetings educating our staff about dementia and how to handle the people suffering from it. There's no one watching them 24/7. They could seriously harm themselves and others. They need to be somewhere where the staff is trained to handle them at their worst, and properly guide them through the horrible transition."
"Most cheap adult toys are made out of unstable materials (TPE, TPR) that may leech chemicals into your body and may over time start to melt, especially if stored with other toys. These materials can also be porous and a perfect home for bacteria, so black spots might grow on your pleasure stick. Companies usually slap a 'for novelty uses only' stickers on it and call it a day when in fact they are sending out a chemical mess. When buying adult toys buy the high-quality ones (anything made out of medical grade silicone). Yes, they are more expensive but you are investing in future fun."
"Most everything at Applebees is microwaved. Everything is pre-weighed and put into disposable cups (sauces and such) or plastic bags, microwaved and then placed on a plate. Even the pasta is microwaved, pre-cooked to almost done and then bagged in portions, microwaved at the time of order. Meats (most of the time), Fries, Tortillas, Salads, etc are not microwaved, but all vegetables, soups, sauces, rice, etc - all microwaved.
Oh, and when we were SUPER busy and some meat was undercooked, the manager would have the grill staff cut it up and microwave it quickly."
"I worked at a convenient store.
Fountain soda machines are a gamble if they've been cleaned that week/month/year. I was told by my manager to clean them once every other day, but I could tell nobody else was bothering, especially when I started.
Coffee in metal thermoses has a good chance of being old if it's flavored or decaf and especially if it's a rush time as there's not much we could to do keep up. We were told to dump it every 6 hours and with 8-hour shifts, no one kept track of when it was made. Black coffee is your best bet as it's what the masses are drinking. If you want fancier coffee, go to a fancier place. Also, our big cappuccino machine just took big bags of powdered mix.
Check the dates on everything you buy (this is true of everywhere these days, really, especially CVS) and be careful if you can't see the dates. I dumped nacho cheese from a dispenser that was several months past expiration and you can only see the dates on that and chili if you open up the machine and look at the bags. Heat lamp pizza wasn't kept track of and barely anyone ate it. Roller items were, but again some people didn't mark it down or employees were lazy/busy.
We also had courtesy cups, which were like 8 oz cups for anyone in uniform, delivery people, friends, etc. If you asked for one, most employees would give you one no questions asked. If you complained about a drink you got before, you'd be given a coupon card for a free drink.
Digging for fresh milk? It's generally in crates in the back. We purposely didn't stock all of the newer stuff so the 'diggers' wouldn't get our precious new stuff and at the very least just get middle of the road dates. You could dig through bread and most snacks, though, since route guys dealt with those."
"Your friendly neighborhood grocery store employee here. If produce falls on the floor, no matter how dirty the floor is, at my store we just put it right back on the produce tables. Also, we find spiders hanging out in grapes and berries all the time, so always wash your fruit/vegetables."
"I'm a Doctor. It is practically impossible to get an incompetent colleague to lose their license unless multiple patients complain. I've come across colleagues with horrendous records, ranging from billing fraud to almost killing people (and probably killing some, indeed, we just did not know for sure). Despite all of us trying to use appropriate channels, such as discussing it with the hospital or with the licensing body, we were met with staunch resistance and refusal to even start to investigate. The only way to do it would be to basically tell a patient that the doctor had almost killed them and tell them to file a complaint, but then if that information leaked, we could be sued for defamation."
"I'm a teacher. Every time it's that time of year to make class placements for next year, there are two or three teachers in the school who are so awful, we cry over which students we have to 'sacrifice' to them and hope they are strong enough to survive a year with Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So."
"I'm an Animal Rescue Director:
Old pets brought to a shelter 99% of the time won't find a new home. They definitely won't 'enjoy their retirement' surrounded by strangers and living on a shelter's modest resources.
If it's a public or 'open admission' shelter it means your old pet will almost certainly be put down by a stranger after spending his last few days in a scary new place.
If you can't afford your ill or elderly pet's special diet/meds/treatments, what makes you think others can easily do so? And if someone wants your pet free because they 'can't afford an adoption fee,' 99% of the time they can't afford the vet care & medicine the pet will need.
Sometimes it's a kindness to have your elderly pet put to sleep rather than dropping him at a shelter (or Craigslist freebie ad or auction) as there are definitely worse things than euthanasia."
"It is not uncommon for assistants and apprentices to make the art of really famous, well-known, expensive artists. The artist might be very involved in the process or barely involved. They can have studios with dozens of assistants churning out all of 'their' work, and then just sign their name to it. And I'm not just talking about, sculptures or art installations where assistants might be doing the grunt work, even paintings could be barely-touched by the actual artist. James Patterson is a great example of this. 'He' has sold over 300 MILLION books, and openly admits the most he's done for years is give the ghostwriter an outline."
"Jeweler here. We use spit to set diamonds. Not as an actual adhesive, but to pick up and move the diamond into the setting. It sounds gross, but trying to move a small diamond with a pair of tweezers often results in the diamond flying across the room and into the bottomless pit that is a jewelry shop floor. So, yeah- we lick and stick. Don't worry, there's a vigorous cleaning process at the end!"
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"Air traffic controllers (at least in the US) are almost all clinically fatigued. The FAA knows this and the union knows this, but it's in their interests to keep it quiet.
It's not uncommon for US controllers to have a swing shift (1pm-9pm) and then come back at 6am-2pm (9 hours between shifts) and then later go back again that night for an overnight starting at 10pm. That's 24 hours of work in 41 hours of real time in a job where you really really want alertness.
This is all because the FAA wants controllers available at all times and to rotate in different shifts, that way nobody works only mornings, and nobody works only nights, etc. This ensures that nobody can say they're being treated unfairly by being forced to work all nights.
The union and controllers like it because it gives essentially a 3 day work week + weekend.
It's also the number 1 killer of controllers - everybody knows it, nobody will change it.
Every couple years we have sleep studies, I took one done by the union about 5 years ago, had to wear an ankle monitor etc. About a week after I finished the study I got a call from a doctor asking me WTF my problem was. He asked why I was doing that to myself and told me to get another job. To quote him, 'You're going to die from this, and not in 50 years like you think. This kills people in the short term.' Since then I have been more careful and better about taking naps at work when I can, but it's still all messed up."
"If you're sitting at a blackjack table and aren't sure what play to make, ask the dealer. No, seriously. We're trained to know the official Blackjack strategy guide and are allowed to give you that information (considered common knowledge). If the dealer doesn't know it off hand, their supervisor should have a copy of it and will help you out. It's the dealers best interest for you to win and tip. They generally make more in tips than salary."
"Food advertisements probably do not contain edible food in the ad image. Most of the time, it's raw meat that's had the outside cooked with a blowtorch and painted with a brown substance called kitchen bouquet which mimics browned meat. Tomatoes are usually red peppers cut to look like tomatoes because actual tomatoes don't photograph well. They spray WD-40 on the vegetables to make them look fresh and wet. Real burgers don't look that plump because the ones in the photograph are hollowed out and stuffed with mashed potato or cardboard. If you ever see a photo of a burrito it's guaranteed to be a mashed potato burrito with a bit of meat poking out of one end so the meat juice doesn't soak through the tortilla while they're trying to photograph it. If you see a photo of food with steam coming off it, it's probably from a tampon that's been soaked in water and microwaved until hot then stuffed in the food as they give off steam for a long time. Photos of ice cream are usually canned icing mixed with confectioners sugar and shaving cream then dyed the color they want with food colouring. Real ice cream melts too quickly under the lights and doesn't really photograph well in the best of conditions."
"Agriculture is a tough business in today's market. If we (I'm in the US) paid our workers a salary that attracted legal immigrants and citizens, all produce/ornamentals would be priced as high as the stuff marketed as organic. A lot of farm labor is hard work, and it's the only industry with no overtime pay requirements; 50+ hour weeks are normal. The factory farm I work at starts at sunrise with a minimum 9-hour day, working Saturdays as well. I'm a US citizen with a Horticulture degree so I have it better than most of my undocumented immigrant coworkers. I once spent a 10-hour day with a crew bent over in the field just to see what it was like and I had to take the next day off. I try to source all my produce and plants more ethically because of this, even though it's pricey."
"I work in mobile phone sales for a mobile network. One of the biggest things we'll get you on is upgrades. Once your phone contract is due to expire and you're eligible to upgrade your plan and get a new handset, most people just come into the store, find a phone they like on a plan they like and take the first price offered to them.
Others will ask if we can negotiate the price, we'll tell you no, and for the most part, that's true, but there is an easy way you can save big bucks. Call through to the cancellation teams. I've seen the cancellation teams make some insane deals for people on monthly contracts, like lowering people to plans on devices that would normally have upfronts in the triple digits and just wiping them without a second thought. Or contracts where the customer is paying almost no premium on the phone or getting the air time for next to nothing, it's insane.
This also applies to your broadband at home. Once your introductory offer is gone, most of the time you can call up and have it regraded back to the introductory offer, or the new offer if there's a better one. Never leave your broadband rolling for longer than the minimum contract term because I guarantee you'll almost always be able to get a better deal from the same company."
"It is hard to pop a balloon with a dart at a carnival to win a prize because the balloon is under-inflated and the tip of the dart is dull so it bounces off. It's hard to get a basketball into the hoop at the carnival to win a prize because the ball is super inflated so it is hard and easily bounces, plus the hoop is smaller than a regulation hoop. To have a chance at making the shot, shoot high and let it come down straight through the hoop. The largest stuffed animal you could possibly win at a carnival costs approximately 7-10 dollars, but you will spend over 100 dollars working your way up to the big prize. Our cost is so low because we wholesale for stuffed animals - we buy from vendors who buy cases in bulk and have the storage. Also, the small prizes you win in the beginning costs pennies (5 times less than the quarter you spent)."
"Anyone who's ever been at a vehicle assembly plant knows that most cars have a quality of about 80% of their specifications and they're sold that way to everyone."
Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock
"After working in the travel industry I can tell you that hotel room rates are often not fixed prices. If guests come to the front desk and ask the price we generally start at the high end. Most people accept this as fact and pay up. However, if a customer is hesitant or threatens to walk out we can sometimes drop the price to keep them there. Often times there is a bottom line price set by the owners --- we can't go any lower than that or we lose money."
"I'm a plumber. I make over half my money using one tool that costs $50 and a skill that can be learned in 20 minutes. The tool is a shifter and the skill is knowing how to pull apart and install taps. Drain snakes and plungers are how I make almost all the rest, and that 'almost' is the only reason I need all of my other tools."
Ditty About Summer/Shutterstock
"I work in video games. Our job is to make our game as addictive as possible so that we can make the most money out of micro transactions (think mobile phone games). A lot of our game design is by marketing telling us what people will most likely buy in the game by watching data. Sure, it starts free-to-play, but to keep you playing and paying we mine data to make it more 'sticky.'"
"Whenever you see an advertisement with a quote from someone, we just had someone in the office say that so technically we aren't making it up, even though we tell them exactly what to say."
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