"I worked at a 50k+ tech company. I worked with a project manager, Maggie, who misread my email and got her dates messed up. She scheduled a meeting for Thursday instead of Friday. When I told her she scheduled it on the wrong day, she got mad at me and emailed all my managers up to my vice president (4 levels of management) to say how much of a troublemaker I was... It was her own fault for not being able to read.
2 years later, I have to work with her again, and I pretend like I'm all happy and friends with her.
2 years after that, I quit and move on to a better company. Later, I get an email saying that Maggie is applying to my new company and asked if I could provide a positive reference for her.
I emailed the recruiter and blasted all my 6 years of nonsense on her and block her from getting hired. Take that Maggie, you loser. I never forget."
"I used to work at a pizzeria. There was this one customer that everyone hated. She was rude as all get out, complained about everything (every single order she ever received, she found something to complain about). She wasn't a normal customer. No, she would order essentially groceries from us by ordering disassembled sandwiches. For example she'd order a chicken sandwich but with all of the ingredients separate and in particular amounts, with cutlery, butter, a side of grated cheese, 3 plates, oil and vinegar on the side, 'medium rare' toasted bread (whatever that means), extra packets of ranch - you get the idea. But because it was all technically part of a 'sandwich' she didn't expect to be charged for any of the extras and would complain. She also refused to answer the door when delivery drivers got there and instead would leave the money in an envelope (exact change, no tip) under the doormat and wanted the driver to leave the food on her doorstep. She also had weird specifications about where the driver could park (never in her driveway, only on the street, even when it was raining or she'd complain). Also, she didn't want them to announce their arrival in any way (no knocking, no ringing the bell, no beeping their car horns, they needed to be silent or she'd complain). Total nightmare, this woman. And every time she complained, she'd try to weasel some free stuff out of us for next time.
Anyway, one day she says she needs the driver to make change and she wants him to just leave the change in the envelope and not take a tip because 'he gets paid already.' So I tell my driver this and he says 'oh, I get paid, do I? No problem, I'll take care of it.' He goes on the delivery and comes back pleased as punch, doesn't say a word about how he 'took care of it.' I get distracted, keep working, 10 minutes later I get a phone call. It's the crazy lady and she's FURIOUS because apparently, my driver left her the correct change of $5.85, in the envelope like she asked...IN PENNIES.
Absolutely genius! I had to put her on hold so I could laugh. I get back on the phone with her and I said 'ma'am, I think you'll find that pennies are legal tender, there's nothing I can do.' After explaining that I am, indeed, the manager and the highest authority present, she got fed up and hung up on me. That driver is still a king to me."
"My little brother and his girlfriend came to stay at my house for the weekend, and the girlfriend was super self-centered and obnoxious. When they left, she forgot her clothes and toiletries because she left them sprawled all over my bathroom.
About a week later, she and my brother moved into an apartment together. After he paid for the moving truck, deposit, and utilities, she cheated on him with her ex and kicked him out of the apartment. This left him broke, homeless, and heartbroken.
In the days after the breakup, she kept calling and emailing him several times per day, demanding that he ask me to ship her clothes and toiletries back to her, saying stuff like 'I mean, it's really important, it's my NORTHFACE.' My brother called and pleaded with me to ship them to her so she would stop having a reason to contact him.
Being the loving sister that I am, I gathered up the Really Important Northface sweatshirt, shorts, underwear, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and razor. I folded everything nicely. I then wrote a nice note apologizing for taking so long to mail them to her, and let her know that I hope all is well. The note was written in permanent marker, and the paper happened to be resting on the Really Important Northface when I wrote it. Unfortunately, the ink bled straight through the paper and onto the shirt. Also, unfortunately, the shampoo, soap and conditioner caps were not tightly secured on their bottles, and the contents leaked out all over the clothes, further spreading the ink. The most unfortunate result, though, was that her razor didn't have any sort of protective cap or container and left little slashes all over the front of the Really Important Northface.
She received the package, and my brother never heard from her again."
"Crossing at a busy downtown intersection, a very impatient driver waiting to make a turn honked at a lady pushing a stroller (she had the right of way). I slowed down, but the guy next to me straight up stopped in front of the car, then bent down to re-tie his shoelaces."
"My boss paged me on my wedding night. He did it as a joke, but it came at an - inappropriate - moment. We had a 'page only if something's on fire' policy, so I had to call in even though I had just gotten married and was about to go on two weeks' vacation. When he answered, he laughed so hard I just HAD to do something about it.
So when I got back, I programmed the mail servers to call out on their phone lines and hit his pager with dial-back numbers for phone smut services - at 4 AM - Every day. His wife got this pager before he did one time and saw a text message something like 'I loved how you described how you would do me, Jerry. Call back when your wife's gone for the day.' Wife was NOT amused. She thought he'd been calling phone smut operators and tore him a new one.
He knew it was me, but he was too stubborn to ask me to call it off. So it kept up for weeks until he finally figured out where the script was running from and used it to page me instead. We had a back-and-forth pager war for a while, but then it all screwed up when an actual data center emergency happened and one of us ignored the page thinking it was the other pranking him. That ended the fun."
"Not me, but a friend's story from his time in the military:
Receives care package from grandparents of 7 pounds of homemade fudge and cookies, but immediately has to go on a mission. He instructs his bunkmates to wait for his return and all will be shared. He returns, there's less than a pound left. There's the initial outrage to be sure, but he's calm about it. You'd rather see his outrage than his calm face because that's when he's plotting your demise.
Weeks and months pass, and he has plotted. Finally, he's scheduled to be in the same vehicle as them. The night before, he chows down on two boxes of Oreos and a gallon of milk - he's lactose intolerant. His head is sticking out the top hatch and he made a seal with his belt and equipment. Just as they got too far to return, he lets loose the vilest, sickening flatulence - he was happy to, quite literally, poop his pants. The guys inside ended up vomiting all over the inside of the vehicle, and ended up having to pay my friend back the market value of the fudge, which he never got to taste again because his grandmother passed away before being able to make another batch."
"Once upon a time, I was a newly married lad. We purchased my grandparent's house from their estate as our first home.
The First Incident: One day, I came home from work to find my dog outside going nuts. She rarely barked, so I paused for a second, trying to find out was going on... and watched as a bright yellow sprinkler came flying over the fence. There was a bunch of stuff lying in my backyard where the neighbor kid (let's call him Evil Son) had been throwing it at my poor dog.
I walked next door and banged on the neighbor's door. The boy's mother (let's call her the witch) came to the upstairs window (not even to the door) and yelled 'what are you doing on my property?' at me. By the way, this is my very first interaction with this woman. I introduced myself and tried to explain what was going on. She immediately jumped to 'do you have a video of my son throwing stuff?'
Then, inexplicably, the witch started blaming my wife and me, saying 'If we weren't such hermits, everyone wouldn't hate us so much.' She went on, and it turned out that she was upset that I didn't tell her that my grandmother had passed. Yeah...I hadn't told someone I didn't know about a family matter. Fine, whatever, I dropped the matter and left.
The Second Incident: Shortly thereafter, I stopped working a regular 9-5 and started my own business working out of my home. I noticed some mail went missing. One day, I see the mail truck go by, and put on shoes to go pick it up from the mailbox. When I get down there, I find the box empty, and the witch walking away from it with my mail in hand.
I yell at her, and she drops it in a pile on her driveway and proceeds to yell at me that it was blowing around her driveway and that I should be more careful.
Yeah, so I call the cops. They are reticent to do anything since I didn't actually see her take the mail from my mailbox, but they still go over to talk to her. I can hear her yelling at them from inside my house. The next day, she runs out and stands in front of my car, trying to confront me as I am leaving. I tell her in no uncertain terms that I am ok with running her over.
The Third Incident: We were getting our house ready to sell. Part of that included repainting our attached deck. I come home from work and find a can of paint has been opened and thrown across the deck, some furniture, and the side of the house. There are a few child-sized footprints through the paint. Cops come, but don't care.
The Fourth Incident: The witch takes a different neighbor to task out in the street. Turns out, she doesn't have any friends anymore. Other neighbors join the fracas, ganging up on her. Turns out her kid killing their rabbit, or her kid throwing rocks at their cars, and various other events, made her no friends.
The Revenge: So, after years of dealing with this woman's nonsense, we prepared to move to a new house. We threw one last blow-out party, as one does. I get a little inebriated and went on a rant about how little I was going to miss having that neighbor.
A friend decided that payback was in order, so we went down into the cellar, and perused my grandfather's shelves of Stuff He Never Threw Away. Amongst it all was a bottle of grass killer - Great Depression era, block letters, 'grass killer.' I have no idea what was in that stuff.
Now, this is where the story gets a little hazy. My friend disappeared for about an hour and then was back as if nothing ever happened. I never saw the bottle leave the shelf. But, a few days later, parts of the witch's lawn started to turn brown and die. Big block letters spelled out 'I am a witch'.
I ran into the witch a week later as I was getting my mail. Contractors were tearing up her lawn, laying down rolls of sod. She stomped over to me and complained about my other neighbor's kids. She clearly saw them apply lighter fluid to her lawn, and light it on fire to burn the awful message into it.
Funny thing, whatever was done to her lawn, within a week sections of the new sod died, and the message reappeared (although blobby and illegible).
And I still have that yellow sprinkler. Screw her."
"During my freshman year of high school, I was in a biology class that was made up of mostly juniors. This one guy, who sat next to me, would always be a jerk to me during class. I always did well on the tests so he would always look over and copy the answers from my scantron. I'm pretty sure he didn't realize that I knew he was cheating off of me. Well, one day I got fed up with this guy messing with me and cheating off of me. So the next test comes around and sure enough, he starts copying my answers. I finish the test and so does he. He gets up and turns his test in and comes back to his seat. I looked him in the eyes and proceeded to erase my entire scantron. I then retook the test, this time marking the correct answers. The look of panic in his eyes was so satisfying. He ended up making a 2% on that test and never cheated off me again."
"I occasionally deliver pizza as a part-time job.
There is a customer that tends to pay with a big bag of change. I don't mean a bag full of quarters, I mean a bag full of dimes, nickels, and pennies. Since his meal typically costs about $20, the bag usually weighs several pounds. It is a total pain to count out all of the change, so typically drivers will just assume that he has the correct amount and leave. Usually, he has just enough or maybe a few cents over. I don't think it is an innocent thing either, as he usually gives the bag of change with a poop-eating grin. It is such a pain that most of the drivers know his address by heart and avoid going to his house if at all possible.
I was having a bad night, and by the luck of the draw got this dude's house, so I came up an idea to take my frustration out on this guy in the pettiest way possible. I pulled up to his house, and left the pizza in the car. I rang the doorbell, and when he answered I saw the large bag of change in his hand that I knew would be there. He asked where his pizza was, and I said 'New policy, sir. Gotta count it out before we can give out the pizza.' So I sat down on his doorstep and started to count out all of the change. At one point, I even asked if he could turn on his porchlight because I was having a hard time seeing. He did end up sitting there while I counted out the entire bag of change, even though it took about ten minutes. He ended up being about a dollar over, so I started picking up pennies to give him his change back when he said that I could keep the rest as a tip. When I gave him his pizza, he sheepishly told me sorry and then shut the door.
The whole situation was incredibly awkward, and to my knowledge, he hasn't ordered pizza from us in a while - oh well."
"My wife used to keep these little Godiva chocolates that she likes in her desk at work, but started noticing some of them missing and figured it must be someone from the overnight cleaning staff taking them. Fed up with losing her not-inexpensive treats, she decided to get revenge on the choco-thief in question by replacing the good chocolate with little squares of chocolate laxatives that look just like real candies. The next morning she saw several of the laxatives gone, and then from that day forward, she was never missing another one of her good chocolates ever again."
"Every year I go away for 2 to 3 weeks to work in a different location. One summer when I rotated through, the supervisor there took some time off. To cover the three weeks, they brought in a person from outside of our group to supervise. I was working my tail off, doing my work and what should have been the supervisor's work. We were set up in a temporary office, with no connections to the outside world. We had plenty of work to keep us quite busy though. The supervisor's day consisted of playing solitaire all day on the computer and then yell for an hour at the end of every day that work wasn't getting done fast enough. Two and a half weeks in and I had enough. I deleted the shortcut for solitaire off of her desktop. Pandemonium breaks out, she lost her freaking mind. I had to swear that I did not delete any programs from her computer, which was completely accurate. I watched her over the next few days I was there do any and everything to get a connection so she could download solitaire. She even tried to get AOL working on the machine so she could dial up and get it."
"I lived in a cheap apartment with roommates and we all worked in fast food. Money was tight. One roommate ended up unemployed for a few weeks and then got a job as a bank teller, making much better money. However while unemployed she had missed a rent payment, which we had scraped together to cover for her.
Two weeks into the new job she gets her first paycheck, obviously we are expecting immediate payback. Day 1, she says something along the lines of she couldn't do personal business (cash her check) during work so she would pay us in a couple of days.
The Friday she was supposed to pay us, she comes home with a big shopping bag and casually mentions she can't pay back rent yet because she had to buy new work clothes. When roommates and I got upset she went total witch on us that we 'didn't understand how to work a professional job because we were only food service' and basically told us we would get our money when she felt like it.
That weekend she misplaced her nametag required at work. She spent hours searching for it. At some point, I came across the nametag in a random spot and said nothing. She kept searching for it all weekend and was panicked that she would look bad to her boss, etc. I never moved or took the nametag, but the whole time I knew where it was. She never found it and had to get a new one. She also never paid the back rent and we kicked her out a few weeks later."
"In grade school, I kept a bag of chips in the same pocket every day of my backpack. This kid I knew would punch that pocket any chance he could for 5 days in a row. One day I replaced the chips with a bag of sewing pins. He never did it again.
Sweet sweet justice."
"I used to deliver pizza for Dominoes. It was my last shift and there was this house that was always rude. One time I called to asked what the house looked like and they said 'I gave you the address' and hung up and they never tipped. I got to their house and they gave me a check for 1 cent less than what the total was. I said 'I am going to need the extra penny.' They grumbled off and took their time hoping I would give up but I just sat there holding the pizza. They finally came back all pissed off and gave me the penny. Note that they had no intention of tipping. They gave me the penny and I chucked it out into the street and left. They saw me do it. It was SATISFYING."
"Sharing a holiday home with some friends and their 10-year-old son started to be a pain, not helping around the house and crying if he didn't get his way. His parents decided to just let him sit and watch YouTube on his iPad instead of disciplining him. So I logged into the internet router and would use admin privileges to suspend his device from accessing the internet. As soon as he got up to ask his dad for help, I would reactivate the device so it seemed as if nothing was wrong. I did this every day for two weeks."
"A horrible former coworker always claimed she worked way more hours than she actually did, and when she was at work she just browsed Facebook all day. The doctor/owner was very hands-off and just let her do whatever she wanted (despite me going to him with proof), so I decided to take revenge. She was not computer savvy at all, so I removed Internet Explorer from her desktop and installed an identical icon that, when clicked, would instantly restart the computer. It was so satisfying when she would forget and click it, losing anything that she was working on. She would always grumble and complain about the 'virus' on her computer. I started a new job about three weeks later, and when I left it was still giving her problems."
"I used to work shifts many years ago, including regular night shifts. My boss was an unpleasant person, to say the least.
He would leave his keys on top of his locker. One night I took a small file to work and filed down one or two teeth of his front door key. The next day he was telling everyone about how he got home and his door lock was broken and he had to get a locksmith out which cost a fortune and he didn't get much sleep.
Happened again a couple of months later.
Then his car key got some treatment. I stopped after that as I heard him mention it was getting suspicious that all these locks stopped working.
But, unknown to me, other colleagues also disliked him. One night his whole locker disappeared entirely. Rumour has it that it's part of the foundations of an office building in London now."
"I was at a Vons in San Diego, walking toward the only open check stand with a single bottle of soda in my hand. Suddenly this hoity-toity lady with a cart stacked to the top flew out of one of the aisles like a freight train and cut me off. 'I'm in a hurry,' she said, then looked away like she was annoyed that I'd been born.
I looked at the cashier. He rolled his eyes and got to work. Five minutes later she's walking out the door and it's my turn.
'You're good,' says the cashier. 'I put your soda on her tab.'
That felt good."
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