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Cringeworthy Discoveries

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Cringeworthy Discoveries

>>> "I'm from Philly. I've heard lots of kids accidentally out their parents as substance users. One of the best was when we had to erase the boards and the chalk dust got all over and I started coughing since I used to have really bad asthma. One kid called me a baby and said his dad can snort chalk dust from the pool table."

>>> "One of my students was telling me that she can't see mommy anymore because mommy told on her friends. I asked his dad about this (his dad has custody since his mom was an addict). It turns out his mom was friends with some people who killed some dealers and scattered their bodies. His mom told the police who killed the dealers and is now on the run from the rest of her 'crew' for snitching."

>>> "One of my students brought in her mother's adult toy to school as part of a class project. I teach 5th grade. It was a very weird day. Thankfully the kid's didn't know what it was, but I had to do a lot of damage control afterward. It was for a 'What's in the box?' type project where they had to pick an item, list physical and chemical properties of that item, describe the color and texture of the item, etc. The mother was absolutely MORTIFIED when she found out what her daughter brought. To this day she continues to apologize to me!"

>>> "I was telling two of my kids how 18 is a cool age because you are entitled to some new freedoms. One of my kids shook his head a bit and said, 'Oh, that's how old my dad was when he got shot.' Another one of my kids, who could be pretty angry/occasionally violent told him, 'Hey, I get it. That's how old my brother was when he got murdered.' Another time we were talking about characteristics and character qualities and I asked my kids what they thought of the analysis of the father figure in the story. One of my kids raises his hand and say, 'That's not real. Dads aren't good for anything except drinking and leaving.'"

>>> "I was told this by a teacher friend. The school had a special event of some sort planned where a small animal/reptile show was to be brought in. My teacher friend was talking to the class about the different animals they would see and mentioned that they'll get see one of the biggest snakes in the world. Immediately, one of the kids blurted out, 'My mom says my dad has the biggest snake in the world but I've never seen it!'"

Certainly Not Music To A Teacher's Ears
Certainly Not Music To A Teacher's Ears

>>> "There was a girl in the 3rd grade class I student taught in who was the kindest, sweetest little kid ever, but her home life wasn't great and she often missed school or came in late. One morning after she told me that she was hungry, I asked if she'd had breakfast and she informed me that there wasn't any breakfast at home and that they'd had popcorn for dinner the night before, but her brother had eaten most of it. I started questioning her more carefully, and it turned out that they were so broke that they had to wait up for their mom to get home at 10 or 11 at night to see if she'd earn enough money to buy them dinner."

>>> "While I was tutoring a kid, he told me he was too tired and was sick of going to random family member's houses every weekend and having to take extra classes after school. On another occasion, he mentioned that he hated that his parents always had parties without him and that they always happened on the weekends while he was sent away, which basically outed them as either hardcore party people or swingers. The last nail in the coffin was when the poor kid told me about those weird, long and sticky 'balloons' he used to find sometimes in random places of the house after those parties that his mom told him never to tell anyone about and to give to them if he found another one ever again."

>>> "There was a girl in my class who was 9-years-old if I remember correctly. The kids were told to write a short story about an average day at home or something like that. She wrote a really brutal story about a couple going through a divorce full of domestic violence and nasty insults. We talked to the parents about it and they gave us the whole 'she is very creative' spiel, nevertheless, they put her into private school shortly after that."

>>> "I had a particularly likable kindergartner tell me, 'My older brother was teaching me how to play boyfriend and girlfriend.' We reported this comment to her caseworker. She had been recently put into foster care after her teenage brother was convicted of murder and the police discovered that the mom was addicted to illegal substances."

>>> "My mom is an elementary school teacher so I hear a lot of crazy stuff. She works in a school which is in the suburbs of Rome and kids there grow up in strange environments. There was this kid once who drew two people being intimate because apparently his parents used to fool around in front of him."

Mom And Dad Would Not Be Pleased To Know This Was Shared

pathdoc/Shutterstock

Mom And Dad Would Not Be Pleased To Know This Was Shared

>>> "I was teaching 1st grade and we were working on -ed endings. The word was 'rested' and one kid popped up with 'My daddy got rested last night! There were cops everywhere!'"

>>> "I was adopted when I was four from a childhood of child abuse. One of my first lessons at my new school when I was living with my new parents was to draw a picture of our earliest memory. While all the other kids drew pictures of their parents taking them out for ice cream or to see some animals, I went with 'daddy stomps on my hand so hard it breaks.' I think the worst part for me was that I thought that that was normal and that everyone's parents beat them."

>>> "My mom was a preschool teacher, and a little girl drew a picture of her and her father and then explained to my mom how her dad assaulted her. She didn't know it was bad and my mother told her boss and had to go to court for it."

>>> "I work in a VERY poor school, like the school does not have busses poor so most if not all of the kids come from broken homes with very messed up parents. A lot of these kids party already at 10-12 years old. One kid told me how her father beats her 20-year-old brother and another cried when she lost a balloon saying it left her like her dad did. Another kid let slip that he lived with his grandfather because her mom was in jail for selling herself to men."

>>> "One student said, 'My daddy poops in the shower and our dog eats it.' You're never truly ready for what a student will raise their hand about to share during a lesson, but when you're getting observed like I was the best thing you can do is respond with: 'In the future I want you to write down your questions instead of raising your hand, 'kay bud? Thanks.'"

>>> "I had an 8-year-old girl tell me her parents liked to have sleepovers with other adults and they played dress up. She was supposed to be in bed but snuck downstairs. She proceeded to tell me of what maybe sounded like a very intimate 'furry' party. After letting my boss know what I was told, nothing was done because the child only witnessed it, thank God! I am sure it would have made for a very awkward parent-teacher conference or bring your parent to school day."

>>> "I was a student at the time, but one of the sheriffs' son did a how-to presentation on how his daddy made this rock candy - it was crank. The cops were making it and selling it to people who would in turn sell and turn over the person they sold too. Good ol' crooked small town cops! My mom told me when I was about 16 and was hanging out with the kid. It made the friendship a little weird."

Well, Back To The Lesson...

Lifetime Stock/Shutterstock

Well, Back To The Lesson...

>>> "My mother taught English and one of the boy's in her class answered a test question with, 'I wish I had parents like everyone else.' He was living in an adoption home, had been jumped around so many times. My mother ended up fostering him."

>>> "Kid: 'Today's my mom's birthday!' Me: 'Happy birthday to your mom!' Kid: 'Yeah, she's 21 now!' Me: 'Aren't you 7?' Kid: 'Yeah!' Me: 'How old is your dad?' Kid: '29.' So her 22-year-old dad knocked up her 14-year-old mom. Pretty icky..."

>>> "I had one of my kids in 4th grade ask me: 'Ms. Comma's, what's a mugshot?' I replied, 'Well, why are you asking?' He said, 'Well, I saw my mom looking on mugshots of _.com, and I definitely saw my real dad.'"

>>> "After music class, one of my students lingered after everyone left and told me he was 'afraid to go home.' I asked him why and he quickly lifted his shirt and showed me welts, lacerations and black and blue marks where he had been abused. He begged me not to tell anyone because it would only make it worse. But said he wanted me to know because I was 'like the father he wished he had.'"

>>> "A kid said, 'Daddy had to sleep on the couch last night because Mommy found out about his girlfriend.'"

>>> "I'm in a teacher training program. My professor who taught kindergarten for about forty years said that while having a conversation with an incoming kindergartener, she asked the little guy, 'What does your dad do?' His reply? 'He drinks a lot and he pissed behind the television.'"

>>> "My cousin who has 2 grades below me had a diabetic girl in class who had to get injections from the nurse. Another girl who went with her (we weren't allowed to go in the halls alone) said her mom was diabetic. When she got back, she told the teacher it's a different medicine because this one isn't heated up on a spoon first."

Class Just Got Very Awkward

ESB Professional/Shutterstock

Class Just Got Very Awkward

>>> "When I was in 2nd grade, I had just come in from recess when I noticed a strange sensation in my ear. Because I was an idiot, I started crying and saying a bug had flown into my ear. My teacher came over and reassured me that it was probably just water that had gotten into my ear during a shower, to which I responded 'Nope! I haven't showered in a week!' How hard is it to make sure your child takes a bath more than once a week?"

>>> "My dad had a vasectomy and first grade me had nothing for show and tell. 'My daddy is home because he had his pee pee cut!' My father received a funny call home later that day to make sure he was okay."

>>> "I was for this class. We were talking about allusions in my English class and a new kid who had just moved into town blurted out, 'My mom works at illusions!' which is an exotic dance club in my town. Everyone went really silent. The poor kid didn't even know. He didn't talk much after that."

>>> "A lady I know teaches Kindergarten and she's got some funny/sad stories. One student told her teacher that she was beaten on a regular basis and didn't realize it wasn't okay. Another was a kid that brought his parent's substance paraphernalia in for show and tell. It's all been reported/dealt with including arrests."

That's Good To Know, Sweetie...

Asia Images Group/Shutterstock

That's Good To Know, Sweetie...

>>> "I remember in kindergarten for career day, a cop was showing us all these bad illegal substances and when a particular illegal substance shows up, some random kid beside me (not even my friend or anything) whispers to me, 'My mom smokes that!' Now I was only 5-years-old but even at that age I knew that's the stuff you don't go around saying."

>>> "We read a children's book where one character kissed another character on the cheek. A girl rose her hand and said, 'One day, I saw...I saw my mommy kissing my daddy on the pants!'"

>>> "When I was in kindergarten, I filled my Barbie photo book with pictures from my mom's friends bachelorette party. The pictures featured my mom's friends with male dancers in tiny undies as well as them placing money in the men's undies with their mouths. My older brother told my mom to ask me what I brought for show and tell. She was beyond embarrassed and asked me why I choose that for show and tell. My 4-year-old self responded with 'because these are the funniest things I've ever seen.'"

>>> "I am a middle school VP and former middle school teacher. When I was a teacher, I was teaching a lesson on ethanol fermentation, the biological process of breaking down sugar into cellular energy. We discussed why the human body doesn't do it (imagine running away from a predator and ethanol beginning to build up in your system). Anyway, we talked about the effects of ethanol, and this one student raises her hand and said, 'Sometimes my dad drinks it and then he sleeps on the couch. My mom has to wake him up to get him to go to bed. Sometimes he just stays there.'"

>>> "A 6-year-old boy brought some fluffy handcuffs in for his show and tell. When I asked where he'd got them from, he simply said 'from my mom's underwear drawer.'"

Say What?
Say What?

>>> "I used to work at the Boys and Girls club. When helping one little 2nd grade girl with homework, she mentioned that she missed her dad. I said 'I bet he misses you too, where is he?' She says 'In jail.' I said 'Oh, I'm sure he'll be out soon.' She replies, 'He killed grandma.' I just kinda smiled and ignored it. What could I say?"

>>> "I went to a religious school as a kid. I told one of my teachers that my mom did illegal substances. You can imagine the drama this caused. The pastor of the church pulled my mother aside one day, I guess to have an intervention. It turns out that the school had been teaching us that smokes were an illegal substance. My mom was a smoker at the time."

>>> "My friend's mom was a 4th-grade teacher. At the end of the school year, students were sent home with a form asking if they were going to be moving out of the school district over the summer. One boy hadn't turned his form in, so she asked him in class if he knew if he was moving or not over the summer. He responded that it would depend if his mother's boyfriend left his wife or not."

>>> "When I was in kindergarten I boldly announced, 'My dad was standing in the kitchen bare naked, without even any undies on!' I know this because my 60-year-old school teacher wrote a note home to my mom, as a chuckle-worthy story, and titled it 'Kindergarteners BARE it all!' My mom saved it in my school file."

>>> "My mom was a teacher for a number of years and now works for a nonprofit representing children in court that are from abused families. One of the roughest was when a little girl ran right up to my mom, looked at her with big eyes and asked, 'Why doesn't it snow in here?' My mom: 'Snow? Why would it snow in here?' The little girl: 'It snows at my mommy's house when Uncle Thomas is there. Oh well!' She went off to play and a sheriff's deputy that was supervising came over to talk to my mom. 'Illegal substances,' he said. 'Her mom is making them.'"

>>> "I once told my 2nd-grade teacher about my parents' subscription to Playboy. My mother worked for the same school district that I went to school in, so she found out about it pretty quickly."

How Do You Respond To That?
How Do You Respond To That?

>>> "In 3rd grade, I found a cool pen in my dad's drawer, one that was folded back on itself and would slowly double in length when the button was pressed. It was confiscated at show-and-tell, and only last year did my parents remind me it was a Viagra brand pen."

>>> "I gave the class a paper where they had to complete the sentence with fun little thoughts. One of the sentences was 'I wish...' A girl finished the sentence, 'I wish my parents cared more about me and less about my grades.' This is in Taiwan so it is completely believable that what she wrote was true. She studied every free minute she had and it made me feel sad for her when I realized what she said was more than likely true."

>>> "And then daddy just spit in her mouth...Mommy was so angry..."

>>> "It was preschool and I had heard that the little boy's mother was in the hospital. I said to him, 'I hope your mom is okay and she comes home soon.' His reply, 'She's just getting her lady parts fixed.'"

>>> "I used to volunteer at an elementary school. Once had a 5-year-old boy lift his shirt and say 'mommy was mad' revealing a set of burns on his belly. It was all I could do not to freak out. He ended up living with his grandparents and has done very well for himself in the world, but in that moment I could not be sure how things would turn out."

>>> "Me: 'It's time to go get you new shoes!' Kid: 'I don't need new shoes, just shoelaces.' Me: 'No, we're going to get you new shoes.' Kid: 'I don't need new shoes, really! Just some shoelaces!' At this point, I noticed the kid's shoes were held together by shoelaces and tape and not much else. Me: 'No, we're going to go get you new shoes.' Kid: 'You mean...I get new shoes of my very own?'"

>>> "My mom had the baby, but he passed away. Everyone was crying."

>>> "During my teacher training with UK Reception/first years, a boy put his hand up during carpet story time to tell me that his Dad hurt his Mum and made her cry, just like one character in the book had made another character cry."

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