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Aloha Mr. Hanky!
Aloha Mr. Hanky!

When I worked as a teacher's aide I once intercepted a note from a girl who was known as the "mean girl" of the high school to a boy who had a bit of a reputation for being someone that did substances. She looked furious and hurled the balled up paper at his head and I scooped it of his desk. It read:

"I know you took a dump in my hand bag you stink!"

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It's Always Better Not To Look
It's Always Better Not To Look

Took a kid's phone once. Just as I took it out of her hand, she was sending a text. I take a look;"I want your flesh rocket in my hot pocket." I haven't taken anyone's phone since.

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This Is Actually Heartbreaking But All's Well That Ends Well
This Is Actually Heartbreaking But All's Well That Ends Well

After I turned 21, I ran into a my old science teacher. We were good friends and remained in contact, even though I dropped out of school. He helped me through biology in college and other courses. Anyway I offer to take him out to the local bar to buy him a drink.

While we were catching up, I asked him, out of curiosity, if he had ever confiscated a weird note from a student before. He did not mention a name but he intercepted a note that said something like, "This time tomorrow a lot of people are going to be dead here and you better not come in." He held him after class to ask him what was up. He said he wasn't going to call the cops on him but he wanted to know why he thought that this was a solution. The kid broke down crying saying that everyday he goes home and it was horrible. How he was beaten everyday and his father beat his mother and everything. The kid lifted up his shirt and showed the bruises. Which apparently were a lot because his chest looked like a totally different color. He told him, "I will make you a deal: I will teach you how to defend yourself if you promise me you won't do what you are thinking about doing."

My science teacher got there early that day and waited out front where the students came in and saw him and took him aside and said what is the deal? Tears streaming down his face, he said teach me how to fight. For the next two years he taught this kid how to defend himself. My science teacher used to be a military drill instructor.

So long story even longer. One night this kid goes home and his father is on a mean rampage and is about to hit his mother and sister and he just balled up and grabbed his fist and beat the ever living crap out of his old man. From then on his life turned around his father moved out, wound up divorcing his mom. The kid forgave his mom. And the kid went on to college and now holds a PHD of some kind.

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Kids Are Just Gross
Kids Are Just Gross

A teacher I know intercepted a crumpled piece of paper a student was trying to keep concealed. The Teacher confiscated it as the student pleaded with him not to open it. He pulled the edges of the ball of paper down expecting to read some juicy gossip but instead was greeted with a load of snot.

The student didn't have any tissues to blow her nose.

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Eight? That Sounds Impossible
Eight? That Sounds Impossible

My mom's a teacher. One day she came home with a note and threw it on the counter. I, being curious, looked and saw about 8 different stick figures performing extremely suggestive acts on one another. Apparently my mom stopped the note from being passed around her 4th grade class.

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A Couple Of Real Geniuses We Got Here
A Couple Of Real Geniuses We Got Here

When I was in 4th or 5th grade (9 or 10 years old) me and my friend came up with an idea we should make our own code so our messages could not be deciphered if caught. (E.g. A = ^ and B = $) We had the all the whole alphabet in code and each having our own little piece of paper to help us decipher each code when we receive one.

One time my teacher, Ms. M, took one of our notes and said in front of the class "Would you like to read it to the class, or me?" and I say loudly "It's in code, you can't read it." She looks at the message and like a tool says "We'll see about that."

She proceeds to spend the rest of the day trying to decipher the message. She never did decipher it.

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My Diary Is Private!
My Diary Is Private!

On my first day of high school, my biology teacher caught me writing in my diary, assumed I was writing notes to someone else, and proceeded to read it in front of the class and even ask me questions about things I had written. This included the part about how excited I was that a boy I'd had a crush on for 7 years was sitting behind me.

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Getting This Excited About A Note Is A Little Weird
Getting This Excited About A Note Is A Little Weird

It was my first year of teaching. Halfway through class one day, I notice a folded piece of paper land on a guy's desk. I practically ran to his desk to snatch it up, as intercepting your first high school note is a memorable experience for sure.

It was a blank piece of paper.

I got so excited to read it aloud, to frame it in my study, and to laugh about it at my evening dine with the colleagues. Why did it have to be blank? Do high schoolers take pride in ruining their teacher's dreams?

Kids, man. I love this job, but sometimes it really sucks.

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Hopefully Some Things Never Change
Hopefully Some Things Never Change

It was a back and forth note being passed between two 7th grade girls. They were talking about some boy and one was asking for the other's advice on making some sort of "big decision." The whole time I am reading it, I am thinking that I am going to have to have "The Talk" with her. Finally, toward the end, she says something to the effect of, "No, I really like him. I am just not sure if I like him enough for him to be the first boy I hold hands with!" I thought it was hilarious that she was putting so much thought into that. I was also very relieved, and my faith in their innocence was restored a bit.

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Honesty, Accept No Substitute
Honesty, Accept No Substitute

Not a teacher but a Teacher's Aide. I caught this note being passed in a 2nd grade class from a little girl to a boy. "Hey Xavier, I like you." Xavier: "I don't."

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This Is Not The Kind Of Affection You Want To Get
This Is Not The Kind Of Affection You Want To Get

When I was in 5th grade I did extra chores to make $.50 so I could write a note to a girl I liked in the class. I included the $.50 so she could buy fruit snacks at lunch because I knew she liked them. I put the note in her desk when no one was looking. She saw it and then looked around and the money fell out.

The teacher saw it and took the note in front of everyone and asked who did it. She then looked closer and recognized my handwriting and called me out in front of everyone and took me to the principal. I overheard her telling him something about trying to "pay for affection."

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It's Always The Second Move That Gets Caught
It's Always The Second Move That Gets Caught

The girls in our class got busted for passing notes and had pow-wow with each other and the administration about why not to do so. We guys (severely out numbered) decided to mock them and started passing notes. The teacher didn't care at first. After a while it got to be a problem. It was mostly stupid jokes and "hey look, a note!"

Two of my friends had been furiously passing notes and finally got caught. She confiscated the note and made my friend, Donny, come up in the front of the class to shame him.

"I want you to read the note to the class, Donald."

"But Ms. B, there isn't anything to read. It is just a bunch of scribbles."

"If you lie you need to go to confession. (Catholic school)"

"No, really Ms. B! It is just a bunch of scribbles. " shows her

"Looks very well, but what does it say on the other side smug."

"Scribble, scribble, scribble." *shows a side with "Scribble, Scribble, Scribble" written on it.

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The Little Godmother
The Little Godmother

I teach second grade. I had one group of troublemakers. One of these troublemakers was a pretty good kid, he was just easily influenced into doing the wrong thing. When I caught him stealing from another kid's desk, I wrote a citation (something my school/district does; it goes to the office and the parents) and took him outside the room and explained to him why stealing wasn't okay. Well, he was a good rat and never mentioned that someone else told him to do it. Unfortunately, the ringleader, a little girl of questionable family structure, thought he was giving her up while I was talking to him and proceeds to write a small note and leave it on his chair. When we both returned, another kid points out that she was out of her seat during a test and I see the note.

I kid you not, it read: "If you tell Mr. A, I'll tell John and he will beat you up." What the heck?! They're 7-8 years old, where do they learn this stuff?!

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Poor Guy
Poor Guy

One of the kids drew a picture of the teacher, naked.

The, uh, relevant bits were extremely small. I was the teacher. It was weird.

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The Best Teachers Teach Spanish
The Best Teachers Teach Spanish

I took Spanish in high school. My junior year class was probably my favorite class of all time despite the fact that I learned very little. Everyone in the class were friends and we all loved our teacher (and screwed around with him a lot).

One day, while bored, I sent a note around the classroom that read "There are footprints on the ceiling." Probably about half the class looked up when they read it. Me and my buddy were giggling harder and harder with each person we fooled. The note was almost at the last person when my teacher noticed. He took it out of the person's hands and read it silently.

And then he looked up.

My friend and I couldn't control ourselves any longer. We absolutely lost it. The rest of the class laughed as well so we didn't get called out, but both of us had tears rolling down our faces. That was one of my favorite things to ever happen to me.

Mr. Gomez, if you're reading this, you're awesome.

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Rocket In My Pocket
Rocket In My Pocket

Male seventh grade math teacher here. Not sure if these girls hated me or had a crush on me but took a note where the girls were trying to describe what my unit probably looked like. They ended up agreeing that it most likely looked like a rocket. My job is crap but at least I got the old rocket in the pocket going for me.

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Better Than Real Snow! Do They Sub As Breakfast Cereal Too?
Better Than Real Snow! Do They Sub As Breakfast Cereal Too?

I was in fourth grade and made one of those cutout snowflakes with hundreds of phallic shapes. The teacher stole it and threatened me with telling my parents. One day she had a substitute and I stole it out her desk. Nobody steals my snowflakes.

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