Ok, I'm going to say if no one else will, ice cream is the greatest food on the planet. Don't argue, you know I'm right. To prove I'm even more correct than you think, I will cite a scientific study that says ice cream for breakfast makes people smarter. Boom! Mic drop. Facts are facts and science is science. It is #realnews. Not only is ice cream the most delicious tasting food in the world, now it makes people smarter.
Who did this study, you ask? Why, it was a real, live scientist in Japan, that's who! Yoshihiko Koga is a professor at Kyrorin University in Tokyo and he did a series of clinical trials where he fed the participants ice cream immediately after they woke and gave them some tasks and tests on a computer. As an aside - how do I find out about the follow-up studies and how do I get involved? This sounds right up my alley. I like quizzes, sleeping AND ice cream!
Back to the task at hand. The group that got the ice cream was compared to a bunch of poor schlubs that didn't get any ice cream when they woke up. And just like the bunch of losers they were, they performed worse on the test than the winners that got the ice cream for breakfast.
After the delicious ice cream test, Koga put another group through the same tests but this time, all they got was cold water (boo), in an effort to determine if the low temperature of the water would mimic the effects of the ice cream on a subject's brain. The water drinkers did better than the people who got nothing, but they were still far-outperformed by the ice creamers. This makes perfect sense to me. Who wants water when you can have an awesome, creamy, tasty, frozen treat? Water is just boring water, but ice cream makes everything more fun. And now, it makes everything smarter too!
Ok, ok, not surprisingly there are some curmudgeons out there that are skeptical of the ice cream for breakfast theory, but they sound like really boring scientists, not super fun scientists like Professor Koga. For the sake of transparency, I'll add that they say it probably has to do with the fact that some people got food in the morning and some didn't, and it didn't matter what the food was...blah blah blah... Like, just because people that eat a banana might do as well as the people that eat banana ICE CREAM doesn't prove that ice cream is worse! Besides, they need to prove their "theory" like Dr. Koga is trying to prove his!
So, tomorrow, when you wake up, instead of toast or an energy bar, maybe have yourself a Blue Bell country day, or try some of that stuff made by the company that's name sounds like it's Dutch for something delicious, you know, the one that even the name tastes good? Eat up a couple scoops and attack your day like you've never attacked it before. Pretty soon you'll be up for promotions, building fat stacks of cash and generally dominating life like a boss. All thanks to ice cream, nature's frozen IQ-improver.
Thanks, Dr. Yoshihiko Koga!
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