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"We were looking for something with a little more space."

Oh, really? A great room the size of a small house isn't a big enough living room for you? Poor you. 

"We want a place that's move-in ready."

Nothing like a young couple with a minimal budget and completely ridiculous expectations, eh? 

"We really, really hate carpet."

What is this? Why does everyone hate carpet all of the sudden? It's soft and warm and very comfortable to walk on! Okay, so it's not for every room or even every house, but come on. Stop the carpet-hate, people. 

"We just want to be one with nature."

And that's why you're moving into a giant-ultra modern house that also happens to be in the woods? Sure. 

"We just love the hardwood flooring!"

Oh, but... that's laminate. This is awkward. 

"We really can't stand the color of the walls in this room."

It's paint! One of the best things about paint is that it can cover up other paint! 

"Yo, this will be a perfect spot for my man cave!"

Ugh, please stop. We understand that nobody really wants to grow up all the way, and everybody needs their space, but please don't call it a "man cave." 

"We love entertaining."

Do you? Do you host dinner parties regularly? Has your dining set been used more than twice this year? Liars. 

"We want a nice place that's centrally located."

Sure, but you can only afford one or the other of those things on your budget. Let's be realistic here. 

"We like it, but it doesn't really have the kind of modern features we're looking for."

Yeah, because you asked for an older home! What were you expecting?

"We like the kitchen, but the countertops aren't granite."

"And we know that we want granite countertops because of our extensive study of other countertop materials, such as... marble, and uh, wood. Plastic? Are there plastic countertops? Look, we just know, okay?"

"We want ALL stainless appliances."

Yeah, and you'll use them all the time, right? 

Realtor:
Realtor: "This one's great too, and only (insert ridiculous number of dollars here) over your budget!"

Honestly, what is the point in this exercise? Stop making us hate this show.

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