We've all heard crazy stories about women that go way too far for their wedding. The classic "bridezilla" wants everything to be just perfect or she'll rip faces off and scream and yell until it is, no matter how small the detail. The flowers have to have exactly 14 pedals each, the place settings should be 2 inches from the edge of the table - crazy nonsense that most people don't even think about.
They want their husband to look perfect, the mother to have just the right dress and their bridesmaids? They better be on their best behavior and do EXACTLY what the bride wants, lest they end up on the outside of a lifelong friendship. They better have perfect hair and perfect teeth and a perfect dress. They better look as perfect for the pictures as they have ever looked.
That's how it USUALLY goes. Enter a different kind of thinking bride. She wanted her bridesmaids - her sisters - to look their very worst.
The bride, who understandably goes nameless in the story, tells of the lengths she went through to make her sisters look terrible, right up to "fattening" them up with secret protein shakes.
It started with the dresses though.
The bride was clearly jealous of her sisters as she describes them as "gorgeous" and "stunning," while she was more like "Jan Brady in the middle." As she put it, she was not "as hot and popular as my older sister" nor "as cute and fun as my younger sister."
First things first, she would pick out a dress color that didn't suit them at all.
Both sisters are fair-skinned and blonde, so the bridezilla picked out dresses that were "neon yellow that made them look washed out and slightly ill."
She covered by saying she wanted fun colors for a party, but really, she knew they would look terrible in the pictures.
But that wasn't the most diabolical thing she did.
She actively tried to make her sisters fat. In the days and weeks leading up to the wedding, she lived with her sisters and her fiancé. Every morning she would make each sister a smoothie that she told them would be great for weight loss in anticipation of the nuptials. In reality, she was replacing the lean smoothie with high-calorie protein shakes that she described as "mega-weight gain protein powder (she) found in a bodybuilding shop."
And guess what? It worked. Much to the bridezilla's delight, she says, "each of (her) sisters had to have their dress altered to accommodate their thickening waistlines."
As for the all-important pictures? The bridezilla had this to say, "I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt that I'm standing there glowing and gorgeous in my bridal gown, and my sisters are looking washed out and chubby. But mostly I feel happy."
This bad egg fattened up her sisters, on purpose, and is darn proud of it.
Makes you wonder about humanity.
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